Could You Have Your Best Friend's Baby?

have best friend babyThere are a lot of amazing ways you can add to your family today. With the constant innovations in fertility treatments, technology, and worldwide adoption, it's amazing what a couple can do to get a baby when the traditional methods don't quite work out. But this story has me slack-jawed over not only one woman's generosity, but the other woman's restraint.

Instead of using a surrogate through an agency, two best friends decided that they could work out the surrogate thing between themselves. When Logan (not her real name) offered up her womb to Tamara (also not her real name), these ladies ignored any potential complications and instead decided to make a baby together.

First of all, that's an unbelievable best friend. Secondly, how difficult is this relationship going to be to negotiate now that it's been taken to this level?

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When Tamara almost lost her first baby who was born a micro-preemie due to preeclampsia and HELPP syndrome, she knew she wouldn't be able to carry another baby, even though she and her husband desperately wanted more children. Logan and Tamara met at the local library during story time and became fast friends, which was incredibly lucky for Tamara since Logan offered to carry a baby for her. I've never met anyone at the library like that, have you? Wow. 

Logan had a baby for her best friend. I feel weird asking friends to dog-sit. How do you pay back such generosity? But that's just a minor issue compared to the propriety both women must feel. Initially as Logan carries the embryo created from Tamara's egg and her husband's sperm, Tamara must be like, "Do you really have to walk that fast? Why are you driving during rush hour? Did you need that fifth slice of pizza, really?" Unlike when you hire a surrogate, you see your best friend all the time, and you know her lifestyle choices. Suddenly her ability to do the splits on demand isn't such an adorable party trick.

Then flip it once the baby is born. Are you prepared to watch the child you carried in your womb being raised by another couple? One that you see all the time? What happens if you don't agree with her method of discipline? Or what's packed in her lunch box?

While all of these questions may be in the back of your mind, as a surrogate, you don't have the benefit of seeing that child grow up right in front of your eyes. The mom isn't calling you to complain about the latest tantrum.

Logan and Tamara have got to be two incredible women to be able to negotiate this relationship. Hats off to these ladies, and congratulations on their new bundle of joy. Here's hoping that baby will get the benefit of two moms throughout her life.

Could you do this, on either side?

 

Image via Khaled El-Hage/Flickr

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