While I didn't get to attend the ABC Kid Expo (*sniffle* some day, some day!), plenty of others did. If you're not familiar with it, it's where companies who make kid and baby products around the country come and show off their new products. It's super exciting, on tons of levels, and many companies hold off on releasing new products until they can unveil them at the Expo. I love the big reveal of all the new car seats, especially.

But along with the cool new things, often comes the questionable and weird items.

Jamie Greyson aka The Baby Guy, a self-described gay, childless and, in my opinion, completely hilarious, baby gear blogger, wrote about some of the new things unveiled at the Expo. Let's just say somewhere, some marketing directors need to get a new day job ...

Check this out ... it's a beautiful headband for your baby daughter's Christening, but you can save it to be her garter and a man can stick his head up her dress and pull it off her leg with his teeth!  Um ... right.

Ever have so much trouble holding onto a squirming infant that you thought, "Wouldn't it be nice if their clothing had pockets for my hands so I don't drop them?" Yeah, me neither. But I guess I'm weird, because The Poche Suit (like, "pouch suit") is like footed jammies ... but with pockets all over it made for your fingers. It's supposed to help you "not drop" your baby, but come on... if you're relying on finger pockets, you've got much bigger problems. It says it helps small siblings hold babies too. How about you just DON'T LET children who are not old enough to safely hold babies walk around with them? Plus, rather than a zipper, the jammies have snaps. Seems to me the first time a baby's full weight is dropped with someone gripping to the pockets themselves (which could INHIBIT your ability to actually get a good grip), those snaps will come right open. Ugh.

Then you've got these things: BabyFunBelt and the Hipp Mama Belt. You know, because moms don't haul enough shit around in diaper bags, their car, everywhere, that we want a billion toys wrapped around our necks at all times, or in a glorified fanny pack stuffed with random crap, for $20 and $40, respectively. It's like dressing like Rambo, but brightly colored. And uh, not actually cool at all. Not that Rambo is all that cool, but I digress ...

 

 

There's also a lovely nursing table, because we all know we want to stand with our baby on a glorified changing table to breastfeed. The only slightly viable use I've seen is for brand-new c-section moms. But I can't imagine standing, leaning against this thing for half an hour is comfortable or pleasant either.

Also, you know how sometimes dentist/doctors offices will use Papoose boards and strap down a child? Now YOU can do it EVERY TIME you change a diaper too, with the Hulabye Happy Changer! Okay, it's not quite a Papoose board, but having to fight baby into the straps before every diaper change, then fighting to keep them in it isn't really saving much effort, is it? Plus, we all know most moms just change babies on the floor and start pinning their arms with their feet when they hit that stage anyway.

Do you actually LIKE any of these?