The "please boobs, don't leak" poseAs we sat in the emergency room's waiting area with our 2-year-old daughter who needed stitches, my husband pointed out to me that a woman also waiting was breastfeeding her kiddo (yay!) and said, "I could tell she was a nursing mom. Did you know you and your friends all dress alike?" I opened my mouth to argue, then noticed her looser shirt, layered with a tank top underneath. Exactly what I was wearing. Oops. It's either that, or a looser, lower cut shirt, but uh, he's right. There's definitely a new mom wardrobe.
There's no question that your whole life changes when you become a mother. But aside from the obvious things, like not getting as much sleep and cleaning other people's butts, you'd be surprised how many things moms do that make them recognizable as parents -- even when their kids are nowhere nearby. Check out the funny list I've compiled on the strange habits that only other moms would understand.
- Talk out loud about the things you're buying in the grocery store.
- Eat leftovers on the kids' plates instead of serving yourself.
- Wince when the doorbell rings, fearing it'll wake the baby, even if they're not asleep.
- Listen and sing along to kids' CDs.
- Sway back and forth to soothe yourself.
- Automatically intercept hot plates and drinks as the waitress sets them down to move them out of kid's reach.
- Make an effort to block inappropriate/uncovered magazines in the check-out line.
- Say some silly poem while tying shoes.
- Reach out to stop a child from touching something hot/breakable.
- Yell, "Coming!" when you hear a kid yell, "Mom!"
- Rub your breasts with your forearms to prevent leaking when someone else's baby is crying.
- Only cook on back burners.
- Only refer to yourself in the third person, or your spouse as "Daddy/Mommy."
- Immediately feel the need to grab for hands as you approach a parking lot or street.
- Unlock/open the back doors to the car when you're alone.
- Close all bathroom doors behind you.
- Feel the need to run and nurse a crying baby in a store.
- Make a "shhhh" sound when a baby cries, even if the baby's halfway across the store.
- Bounce your purse on your knee when you're bored.
- Start cutting up your husband's food into bite-sized pieces.
- Open up menus immediately to the kids' section.
- Shut all baby gates and lock all cabinets.
- Reach out to stroke the hair of a child near you, even when it's not your child.
- Attempt to spit-wipe food off a child's face ... or your spouse's.
- Put your hand out behind a child walking up stairs/climbing a big playground, even if it's not yours and they don't need help.
- Hide to eat treats so you don't have to share.
- Never set full cups on tables, but up on shelves or desks out of reach of small hands.
- Frantically look for children when a car approaches.
- Hear crying that you SWEAR is your baby that makes you go running.
- Sing the ABCs while brushing your teeth so you know you did it long enough.
- Make fun sound effects when picking up ... the dog.
- Catch yourself watching kids' shows long after the kids are asleep.
- Hold your purse awkwardly in front of you as if you don't know what to do when your arms are free.
- Speak quietly when the house is quiet for fear of waking up the baby (who is actually at grandma's).
What kid-related action have you caught yourself doing when your kids aren't around?
Image via Perfect Incendo/Flickr