16 Things You Can't Wear Once You're a Mom

196

woman in mini dress and high heelsThe women who say that nothing changed once they became a mom are pretty little liars. I'm 21 months into motherhood and not only have some of my kid-less friends disappeared just like my once happily plump rear-end, but there are things I used to wear all the time that have been pushed to the back of the closet.

I'm not saying moms can't be stylish. They sure can. Nor am I saying that we have to now only be seen in some really antiquated view of what 'mom clothes' should be. Not saying that at all. What I am saying is that some things are ... well ... just more challenging to wear once you become a mama.

See if you agree ...

Moms can no longer wear:

1. Strapless anything. Unless of course you don't mind your kid pulling down your top when you least expect it for the whole playground to see your breasts as your little one screams "MILKIES!"

2. Low cut shirts. See above. Kids hands are quick!

3. High heels. Specifically the stiletto heel. Unless you want to break an ankle. I did wear them all through my pregnancy (until the end when no pair of shoes even fit anymore). But once my twins arrived, those sex kitten heels only come out on adult nights out. Wedges however, totally do-able ... unless they are on a high platform. 

4. Lipstick. I love me some berry tinted lips. But I don't love that berry tint all over my baby's cheeks. So I avoid when with the kids because I can't avoid kissing them!

5. Perfume. Honestly it's no longer needed especially when you have that new baby scent all over you.

6. Short skirts. Mini skirts + bending over to pick up your kid's lovie in the supermarket = X-Rated mommy.

7. Non-stretch jeans. You know the kind you have to wiggle into and then lay down on the bed to get zipped up? Uh, yeah. Try running after your toddler in those. I have agita just thinking about it.

8. Things with sequins. Kids think it's dessert.

9. Pants with too many buttons and snaps and requires a belt. Have you ever tried to pee with a baby in your arms? It takes the skill of one arm and an elastic waist.

10. Dangling earrings. Unless you are going for a barbaric way of stretching to a 0 gauge. 

11. Really tight shirts. Not conducive to nursing moms.

12. Hair down. You don't have to cut it all if you don't want to, but you may want to get it out of your kid's reach unless you enjoy torture and practicing face contortions.

13. Necklaces. Can be a chocking hazard for the kid and you. Also, most likely to break. Just like ...

14. Glasses. Little hands love spectacles. They snatch 'em off your face and run away. My husband's pair are taped together.

15. White. Unless you don't mind it being the day's canvas with stains that will never come out.

16. Dry-clean only clothes. Unless you are rich.

Of course you can wear any and all of these things when out without the kids. But wear that really tight shirt, mini skirt, and heels all together with caution, mama, because dayum you still look good.

What items do you find are more challenging to wear once becoming a mom?

 

Image via xlordashx/Flickr

time for mom, motherhood, clothes

196 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

L1558 L1558

Most of these problems go away once your kid is over the age of  2 or 3. I am a mom of an older kid and wear all of the above, except dry-clean only clothes (have to use Dryell b/c there are no cleaners nearby, and seriously, I just don't want to waste the cash). Mini-skirts (minis, not non-existents!) require you to bend at the knees when you pick something up, though.


One piece bathing suits, provided they have a little give, can easily be pulled to the side (and even sat on to hold it in place) for quick relief. Maybe TMI but it's an alternative...I never peel all the way down. Too cumbersome! :)

Melis... Melissa042807

Ugh, totally agree about strapless, but for a different reason. Ain't no strapless bra in the world that will hold up my floptastic post-nursing boobs. :-(


I'm pretty good with glasses and jewelry, though. As soon as my son started reaching for things we began drilling "nice touch" into his head and so earring and necklace yanking hasn't been an issue. So far. He's 21 months now and we're crossing our fingers that it will continue to not be an issue!

ZsMommy ZsMommy

Everything you mentioned really only applies to the baby/toddler years...once they are older,alot of these things SHOULD indeed be brought back into the wardobe...Don't let mommyhood=frumpy and makeup-less.

dwmom... dwmom2008

It gets better as they get older, but yes, my son used to whip my $400 glasses off of my face regularly when he was an infant. Sorry, $50 dollar frames, but those lenses for the astigmatism are necessary if you're going to drive to work...

ChicH... ChicHippie

I haven't worn a dress since becoming a mom. Not nursing friendly. :(

Partl... PartlySunny

It really does get better after they stop grabbing you incessantly. For a few years, you just feel like a toy. But I've never worn heels on a daily basis. I don't know how people can do it without crying.

leomo... leomommy1325

This really only applies to babies and toddlers.  My daughter learned by the time she was 1 to leave Mommy's glasses alone or I'd smack her hand.  I wear low cut shirts because my daughter's 6 now and I want to look hot in the event I'm successful in finding a nice guy that isn't an idiot like my ex husband, her father, is.  I wear one piece bathing suits mainly because I'm too fat to look hot in a bikini.  Maybe someday I'll be hot enough for a bikini, but not today.  Once they get older, this stuff if you like it can come back into your closet.

1blue... 1bluemonkey

SO nice to read a REALISTIC list of no-no's for mommies, instead of  a list of things that someone randomly decided are too sexy for moms.  

11-20 of 196 comments First 12345 Last
F