potty training babyI do find that scientifically you can find a lot of right answers in parenting, especially when you look worldwide, instead of just in one country's backyard. One subject, though, often has strong proponents of many different methods. And that's potty training. Though as NPR points out, almost all advice on potty training, even from pediatricians, is nothing more than hearsay, personal anecdotes, or just assumptions. In fact, there's very, very little research on this subject at all.

But there sure are a lot of opinions out there.

Many of us have heard the suggestions about waiting until a child is displaying readiness signs: showing interest, can remove their own clothing, dislikes diapers. You get a very wide range of average ages that "potty training" is supposed to occur: girls, from 18 months to 3-1/2 years; boys, from 2-4 years. However, many argue that this isn't proactive enough of an approach, or that you're missing windows much earlier in the baby's life where you could have introduced the concept.

On the complete opposite spectrum is Elimination Communication, which, if done 100 percent, means baby never wears diapers. You simply learn baby's body language and use your own cues (like a "psssssss" noise) to help baby associate using a little potty/bowl/sink you hold them over as the appropriate time for release, and when you get it right, it's called a "catch." I had a friend whose son would always, without fail, poop right after lunch, so she'd let him sit in his high chair until he was done. I always wondered why she wouldn't move him to a toilet right after lunch then, if even just to avoid the gross diaper. Skeptics claim this method hasn't been studied enough to show benefits, or requires way too much devotion from the parents (not acknowledging it can be done part time).

Other methods include crash courses, from 3 days to a mere 4-1/2 hours. Most of these require taking a few days to solely dedicate to a strict course. Proponents of these methods often cite them as "quick" but detail that it still took a couple weeks to really sink in, or that they would end up sitting by a potty or go through underwear like crazy, but that they do indeed work. Critics find a lot of these methods not only ridiculously time consuming, but some of them almost cruel. Some books require that your child be forced to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes, and one even requires your child to remain in wet pants to "show them" how gross it is.

Last but not least, the belief that you can't "teach" the potty any more than walking or talking. Potty Learning, where you provide the tools and understanding and support, and let the baby do it in their own time. Generally potties are made available around the first birthday, and some association, loosely, is made between the product in a diaper and in the potty. If the parents know some cues, like grunting, you move them to the potty, and let them really see what the expectations are. Some people use charts, some use rewards or treats, whatever. Nudity is a big part of this, and can make a huge difference in potty habits.

Punishment has no place anywhere in potty training though. It can take months, or a year, and there can be major progress or regression, though funny enough, aside from Elimination Communication, almost all methods seem to show that kids learn around the same time, fully, no matter what you do.

So really, your pediatrician, your mom, your daycare worker ... their guess is as good as yours as to what will work. Just be nice, don't force it, and respect what your kiddo can and can't do.

What method did you use or plan on using, if any?

 

Image via tornatore/Flickr