Older Moms Miss Out on Giving Kids Grandparents

babies need grandmasIt's a modern parenting problem; grandparents are either too far away to be involved or non-existent. The latter was pointed out in an article on The Huffington Post called, "The Dangers of Having a Baby After 35." The danger being, your baby's grandparents will be too old to hang, or dead.

As someone who had one baby before 35, and one after, I love to scoff at these warnings for "older moms" (another term I also enjoy scoffing at). I honestly couldn't understand what changed during the three years between my older child and my youngest. And while 35 may feel like an arbitrary number -- especially if you're having a baby at age 36 -- the grandparent problem is one I can understand. And perhaps even a reason to consider having babies earlier.

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Of course, this is assuming your grandparents are good grandparents, and not those that you need to shield your children from because they can ruin a child's self-esteem in five minutes flat. But as this article explained, grandparents care for more children than nursery schools and daycares combined. Sending my daughter to stay with Grandma during the summer break saved us not only money, but gave my daughter another adult in her life that she knows she can count on, which is incredibly important.

Grandparents are not only caregivers, but your mom (ideally) can help you through those hectic days of early motherhood by offering reassurances that spitting up five times a day is totally normal. Sharing stories of your own childhood with you can give you perspective when you're at your wits' end, and bond you closer to your own mom. After all, you have an understanding now.

When your children get to know their grandparents, they begin to understand their parents just a little bit better. Seeing the family as a whole instead of as a random group of individuals can give a child a sense of something larger than herself, and security in knowing that to be true.

Of course all the great reasons in the world to have babies before you're 35 neither guarantees a partner in that endeavor or that you'll be in the right place in your life to do so. But if you're young, happy in a partnership, and ready to be a parent, go for it! Do it for the Grandmas.

Do you have involved grandparents for your children?


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