There Is Nothing Wrong With Paying Money for a Certain Gender

For one family in Kentucky, the mom wanted a perfectly balanced family so badly, she paid $24,000 to get it. And I don't really blame her.

Heather Anspach already had two boys and one girl, but for their fourth child, she decided to use gender selection to guarantee a girl. The family took out a loan against their home to pay for the $24,000 gender selection IVF procedure.

To me, the only silly part of that is that they clearly couldn't afford it without taking a loan against their home, which is basically the same thing as not being able to afford it. But the actual gender selection? It seems fine to me.

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The ethics may be questionable, sure. And they probably had to discard a number of male embryos, which may or may not bother some. But I do understand wanting one gender so badly you will do anything to get it.

Back before I was pregnant, when my husband and I talked about our family, one of my biggest fears was that we would have only boys. I would be lying if I didn't say that when the ultrasound technician told us we were having a girl, I shed tears of both happiness and relief. I had gotten the girl over with and I didn't need to stress.

Eighteen months later, I was pregnant with a boy and more than happy to welcome him into our home. I adore both my boy and girl and am so grateful to have the opportunity to parent both. But if we have a third, I would prefer a girl.

When people say, "All I want is a healthy child," I think they are either 1.) lying or 2.) smug. Because who doesn't want a healthy child above all? But the two aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, they aren't even related. One can want both a healthy child AND a girl.

If this family wanted two girls and two boys, who are we to judge? She wanted a sister for her daughter, and as someone who has a sister, I get that. I want the same for my daughter. $24,000 seems a small price to pay for having the family you want.

Of course, I wouldn't do it myself because, in the end, I do believe in being happy with the family you're given. But I also don't judge a family who feels more adamant and will do more to get there.

Do you think this is wrong?

 

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