There Is Nothing Wrong With Paying Money for a Certain Gender

For one family in Kentucky, the mom wanted a perfectly balanced family so badly, she paid $24,000 to get it. And I don't really blame her.

Heather Anspach already had two boys and one girl, but for their fourth child, she decided to use gender selection to guarantee a girl. The family took out a loan against their home to pay for the $24,000 gender selection IVF procedure.

To me, the only silly part of that is that they clearly couldn't afford it without taking a loan against their home, which is basically the same thing as not being able to afford it. But the actual gender selection? It seems fine to me.


The ethics may be questionable, sure. And they probably had to discard a number of male embryos, which may or may not bother some. But I do understand wanting one gender so badly you will do anything to get it.

Back before I was pregnant, when my husband and I talked about our family, one of my biggest fears was that we would have only boys. I would be lying if I didn't say that when the ultrasound technician told us we were having a girl, I shed tears of both happiness and relief. I had gotten the girl over with and I didn't need to stress.

Eighteen months later, I was pregnant with a boy and more than happy to welcome him into our home. I adore both my boy and girl and am so grateful to have the opportunity to parent both. But if we have a third, I would prefer a girl.

When people say, "All I want is a healthy child," I think they are either 1.) lying or 2.) smug. Because who doesn't want a healthy child above all? But the two aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, they aren't even related. One can want both a healthy child AND a girl.

If this family wanted two girls and two boys, who are we to judge? She wanted a sister for her daughter, and as someone who has a sister, I get that. I want the same for my daughter. $24,000 seems a small price to pay for having the family you want.

Of course, I wouldn't do it myself because, in the end, I do believe in being happy with the family you're given. But I also don't judge a family who feels more adamant and will do more to get there.

Do you think this is wrong?


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