No one enjoys being told who they are and what their sexual preferences are. Especially when you're being insulted, like Erica Jong just did in the Sunday New York Times. As a fan of Jong's "Fear of Flying," it kind of bums me out that she just took a shot at this generation of moms, and told us we were choosing between our motherhood and our sex life. Jong believes we (young women) even think that sex is unimportant and are content to live without it, or (gasp!) with monogamy. In fact, young mothers are the perfect example of sex-denying ladies for this generation. Especially you natural mommies.
Jong believes if you're a baby-wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping mom, then you're probably using all of the above to push your sexual partner far, far away from you and your lady parts. The message we're sending our mate is that boobs are for the baby, and beds are for families. No hanky-panky allowed.
I have to admit, I used to believe this too.
One of the main reasons I didn't want to co-sleep with my first baby was that I knew that children would make maintaining my previous very healthy, incredibly satisfying sex life difficult. Bringing that baby into our bed? Might as well hang up the whips and blindfolds, because we would never get crazy in the boudoir ever again.
While a certain part of me still believes that -- just a little bit -- as I grow into motherhood, I realize that it's not an all-or-nothing proposition. Or as President Obama recently reminded us, we all should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
If you let motherhood become the reason you can't have sex, you won't have sex. If you decide baby-wearing is more important than showing your husband affection, you'll damage your marriage. But choosing one scenario doesn't mean you can't have both. There are 24 hours in the day, ladies. Yes, you should be sleeping for as many of those as you can grab, but you also can't hold onto your baby for the entire day and night. So (with a breath for yourself) try holding onto that hottie you decided to have this family with, as well.
Let's show those Baby Boomers that our generation knows how to knock stereotypes out of our bedroom just like they did. And let's certainly not let anyone tell us what kind of sex we're having (or not having) based on our parenting preferences.
Do you think being a natural mom means giving up on your sex life?
Image via LisaW123/Flickr