9 Hilarious Onesies Will Give You Baby Envy

baby in texting onsie
If babies could talk, what do you think they would say? Probably, "Get me the hell out of this awful outfit you've just put me in." Because, come on, how many of us put our kids in stuff just knowing we'll be able to embarrass them with it later? Okay, maybe we don't put it on thinking that — but we KNOW we will use it against them when they bring around that first boyfriend!

Which brings me to my niece, who is going to have one hell of a slideshow at her high school graduation, because her parents have got this little sweetness in enough embarrassing onesies to outfit a small army. And contrary to other moms, they'll put her in just about anything! My favorite is the one pictured above, yelling at mommy to "Stop texting and change me!!" Okay, so I got her that one ... but really, how many kids do you think sit in their poop just a little bit longer while mom or dad finishes their text?

Her other onesies are just as great ...


Bite Me Onsie

I love the double meaning here ... and OMG ... look at that face!


You can't handle the poop

For those of you too young to have seen the classic 1992 movie, A Few Good Men, you should rent it. Then you will completely understand this onesie!


Better in heels onsie

It's true, she is MUCH taller in her baby heels. Actually, I think I would call child services if my sister-in-law ever put her in those things!


baby in funny onsie

Haha! I really don't know why this one cracks me up so much. iPood. Get it? Like iPod. See the little headphones?


baby in mama drinks onsie

I am not sure what I think is funnier in this photo ... the saying on the shirt (of course, the less baby cries, the less mama will drink) or the very worried look on her face!


baby in cute onsie

I mean, really, what mom doesn't think her kid is so cute it's disgusting? And there she goes with that face again. I just can't take it! She is so cute it's disgusting. Okay ... so maybe I am a little biased. I reserve the right to be!


bat mitzvah date onsie

When I first saw this, it scared the crap out of me. Who wants to fast-forward 12 years ... but after I got over the shock of seeing the year 2023 on there, I decided the person who thought this up was a genius.


yankee fan onsie

And really ... you can replace the team with your favorite team ... don't hate on this onesie just because our family roots for the Yankees.

I have to admit, these onesies give me some baby envy, because although my youngest is only four years past this stage, we never had onesies as great as these.

Do you have a favorite onesie in a drawer at home? Or a favorite from the onesies above?


Images via Jaclyn Roth

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