'Funny' Baby T-Shirts Are Actually Disturbing

We're big fans of hand-me-downs around here, not to mention consignment shops. But while I'm happy to put my kid in something another kid has worn (and loved), I'm not such a fan of some of the t-shirts we've gotten. I hate to sound ungrateful, but there's something deeply disturbing to me about some of the messages we send with these t-shirts.

Hey, I'm all for funny tees, and I'm not worried about people making my kid a target because of my sense of humor (or social justice) -- not with helicoptery me hanging around. It's the tees that aren't funny that bug me. I hate to be a killjoy, but I fail to see the humor in ....


Calling my daughter a "dizzy chick." Yeah, I get that it's ironic and self-referential and perhaps stands in opposition to traditional gender stereotypes by mocking them, but you know what? Too soon. And this was a heartbreaker, because it was a VERY cute little dress with a hood that I really, really wanted from a consignment shop! But I didn't buy it!

Making my daughter a self-centered brat. I guess there's something empowering about telling a girl to put herself first, sure. But there's something so off-putting about the whole "Baby Diva" thing! No, kiddo, it's not all about you, nor is it all about me, or your dad, or your baby sister, or anyone else.

All About Moi

Emasculating dad via a t-shirt. Faithful readers already know how much I hate Everybody Loves Raymond and other shows of that ilk for treating dads like oafish idiots. I hate it because it's not true, but if a guy is lazy or a wife is bitchy, the media representation gives them free reign to go on with their awful selves. This whole "second in command (after mommy that is!)" is (a) not true, (b) stupid, (c) really pathetic if that's the only place we women are first in command, so let's just drop the whole stinkin' issue.

Dad's Little Lieutenant

Needing to declare that someone loves daddy. What the ... really? Are we that insecure that we need dozens of kids' t-shirts declaring their love for us? I just find these to be silly, fussy, and trying too hard.

I Love Daddy

Calling my kid an angel. This is me being super-superstitious, but I was about to click "buy" on some really handy cotton zip-up jammies for Abby when I noticed they said "Angel" on them. And (again, this is me, and this is how paranoid I am) I freaked out because angels are dead people, and I am terrified of SIDS, and I couldn't zip her into them without being terrified. I know. I KNOW.


For the record, there are funny, cute baby clothes I love! For instance, I am a huge fan of bad puns (like these "I Whaley Love You" jammies at Target) and clothes that direct me to do things I want to do anyway, like Abby's "I Love Hugs" pajamas. (When I put them on her, I say, "It says here that you love hugs. Is that true?" And then I test the theory. Dork!)

All I'm saying is: sometimes I look twice at what I'm putting on my kid and go ... what am I putting on my kid?

What baby t-shirt makes you go "eeeyuw"?

Images via Amy K, Gap Kids, Old NavyCarters, Gerber Children's WearTarget

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