How You Change a Diaper Reveals a Lot More Than You Think!

Heather Chaet
45

When Kiddo was born, my husband was a semi-stay-at-home dad. He worked from home during the day and then went to work in the late afternoon hours. So he watched Kiddo a lot, spent more time with her than I did when I went back to work after my maternity leave. He had the feeding down, he was King of Naptime, and he developed his own style of diapering ... which took twice as long as when I changed her diaper. I could not figure out what would take him so dang long.

I spied on him one day and, lo and behold, he was meticulous with his diaper changing. He'd get the onesie waaay up, he'd get a wipe and carefully fold over the ends so as to be sure to get into every nook and cranny she has down there. Always wiping down. Super job, but slower than molasses.

Me? Totally different. Kiddo didn't mind either way. Yup, different diapering styles ... what does the way we diaper say about us? Hmmmmmm...

The 38-Wipe Per Change Changer -- You use waaaaaay more wipes than you should, probably not to ensure Junior is all clean down there, more so you don't get any crap on your hands (literally). You are a tad OCD, maybe a little selfish, and you also hog the covers at night.

The Fastest Changer in the West -- You could do it one-handed. You could do it blindfolded. You don't mess around with the mess. You plonk Junior on the table and, within seconds, it's done. You also enjoy spinning classes, can complete a paragraph-long text message in the blink of an eye, and do not read while you poop.

The New One Under the Old Changer -- You swear by the method of undoing the onesie, placing a fresh diaper under the dirty one (still on the bum), and then -- and ONLY then -- do you remove the dirty diaper. It's a responsible way of diapering and prevents possible blowouts on the changing table. You have never written a check without knowing the amount in your checking account, you have never skydived, you check every eight minutes that Junior's blankie is still in the bag when traveling. (You are me.)

The Take the Old One Off Dawdle While Hunting for a New One Changer -- You take off the old, then hunt for the new, leaving the bum wide open, risking poop explosions and pee sprays all over the room (and yourself). You're a "throw caution to the wind" kind of person. You try the hottest salsa at the Mexican restaurant. You don't check every eight minutes that Junior's blankie is still in the bag when traveling. (You are so not me.) 

The Only Cloth Diaper Changer -- Nothing will be on that tushee but all natural goodness. You would even take the shirt off your back before you place a disposable diaper on Junior. You make your own baby food and, yes, your own compost.

The Only Disposable Diaper Changer -- See the previous one and think the opposite. And you don't really know how to make your own compost ... nor do you want to learn. You are often mistaken for The Fastest Changer in the West.

The Take Your Sweet Time Changer -- You get Junior on the changing table and decide to start teaching him the ABCs. Or you play Peek-a-Boo. Or you sing some songs. You eventually get around to changing the diaper. You easily get distracted at work, are the worst storyteller at cocktail parties due to your tangents, and would never be the navigator if you competed on Amazing Race.

What kind of diaper changer are you?

 

Image via makelessnoise/Flickr

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