Dolphin Midwives: Better Than Your OB? (VIDEO)

62

dolphin midwivesWriting in the realm of parenting for so many years means I've heard it all. Cooking and eating the placenta, letting Facebook dictate your baby's name, even refusing to let people know if your baby is a boy or a girl. But now I just might have reached the end of unbelievable birthing and parenting stories: Dolphin midwives.

A pregnant friend of mine recently went out to dinner and, alongside her quinoa, received a side of unprompted birthing advice (as happens quite frequently). Another woman at the establishment insisted that she give birth in the Black Sea using dolphin midwives.

We live in Los Angeles.

But it turns out this wasn't a crazy homeless lady, it was actually a woman who had been incredibly inspired by the film Birth As We Know It, where there are dolphin midwives.

No, really.

While the trailer seems to focus on natural birth and water birth, the website touches on giving birth in the Black Sea, and there are pictures of dolphins swimming near the babies. So if this woman -- who insisted that dolphins were acting as midwives -- is correct, then I wonder if they'll take my health insurance?

I kid. Because having a dolphin as a midwife is a completely insane idea. One that I hope will not be catching on, because those poor dolphins need a break from humans deciding they're sooo smart and therefore must be studied! Also, I seriously doubt any of them are accredited.

I'm all for natural birth, home birth, water birth, as seen in this trailer. Hell, even orgasmic birth because, why not? But I will draw the line at having an animal, no matter how intelligent, assist me in my birth. Because my dog is pretty smart too, but I'm not letting her near my placenta. She'll eat it. Although some people might think that's a beautiful cycle of life. Those same people who think you should travel to a foreign country and have sea creatures assist you in your birth.

How flipping crazy is this?

 

Image via ross_hawkes/Flickr

baby health, childbirth, natural parenting

62 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Bodda... Boddah266

While I most likely wouldn't do something like this (I don't plan on going passed four children anyway) - I'm not going to dismiss what someone else might see as a good idea for them. It's kind of cool, really.

stacy... stacyrob17

Is this video saying I am a horrible mother cause I had to give birth via C-section and my kids won't know love and will be a bunch of dummies? This reminds me of a Saturday night live skit that was done when Tina Fey hosted.

Putri... PutridyCorpse

I've heard about it before.  I had a water birth at home, but to do it the open water with wild animals would pass my comfort zone.
However, being judgemental about other women's choice isn't exactly a good attitde to have.  

jacki... jackiebuttons

So, are these certified midwife dolphins? Can I be assured that baby wont be tossed like a ball "Flipper" style directly after birth? How about dolphin pee? Is my newborn going to receive magical powers bathing in it? 


This is ridiculous. Next it'll be raccoons because they have such nimble fingers.


 

Kimra Kimra

women have been birthing with dolphins for millions of years. it was quite common until our ocean's became contaminated with toxins. dolphins are naturally attracted to pregnant women (which is why if you go swimming with dolphins they ask you if you are pregnant, cuz if you are you can't swim with them because it will distract the dolphins too much). and when they come to you while you are in labor the PAIN VANISHES. i have read a birth story of a woman in hawaii, who spent a few hours in the ocean while she was in labor. she said that dolphins came to her randomly and immediately all the pain was gone. she said they were sending her loving energy and swimming in circles around her body. she didn't deliver the baby in the ocean (she delivered the baby in her home about a block away from the beach) because she didn't feel the water was safe to have the baby in, since it is full of pollutants. if i had the money, i'd have my next child with dolphins. of course, i'd have an actually human midwife with me, but i'd love to have a birthing experience with these beautiful animals near me, sending me their loving energy, while i'm in labor!

elasmimi elasmimi

You're right it's crazy. Besides, we need those placentas for hair products.

erdavh erdavh

Kimra - Women have been birthing with Dolphins for millions of years!!!! Really? Based on what evidence?

1-10 of 62 comments 12345 Last
F