Just Say No to 'MILF'

April Peveteaux

milfOkay, we get it. Moms can have a baby then flaunt it in a bikini just a few months later. Moms can be sexy. Moms can inspire lust, no matter how many babies have shot out of the birth canal. I appreciate these facts, I do. But I just so totally hate the term "MILF." (That's "Mom I'd Like to F**k" for those of you who've been too busy raising children for the past decade or so to have heard of this lovely acronym.)

Along with "cougars," I really want these terms to die. It's not that I don't think moms, or women over the age of 40, don't want to be hot and to have sex. I think we all know that's not the case. I just feel like at some point we should all stop being objectified. If not now, then when?

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to reclaim some of my single girl mojo after having my baby. If a stranger at a store ever flirts with me, I'm high for an entire week after someone actually thought I might be single and ready to mingle, rather than a married mother to two. But it's never a compliment (to me, anyway) when someone blatantly says they want to f*ck me. Really? You want to f**k me? Not connect with me, or become a part of my life, maybe have a marathon conversation/make-out session in the corner of a dark bar? Just f**k? Well that sounds about as enticing as a shot of NyQuil. Sure, it feels good for a minute, but then you're just left bewildered, tired, and worse for the wear. How about some nuance, MILF lovers?

And even though I throw the 'f' word around my fair share, I feel like the words "mom" and "f**k" just don't go together. It makes me uncomfortable. (Yes, even Mother'effer makes me squeamish.) There should be lines, right? And the mom and 'f' word line seems to be one that should remain firmly in place. Instead some hipster coined the phrase and now it's supposed to give us a boost if someone actually uses it to refer to any woman post-baby.

While we're in the general area, can we disband any "hot mom" clubs out there? As a mom, I'm tired. And I don't want to try to obtain any level of "hot" that includes more maintenance than blow drying my hair.

It's not that these new mom standards make me feel insecure. They just seem to be yet another task on the to-do list. Get the kid's medical records for pre-school, RSVP to Dylan's second birthday party, try to make yourself f**kable to some 20-something who is not your partner. I can't get all of that done in a day, and I don't like that there are people out there checking to see if I can.

Enough. Let "MILF" go the way of the "handsome," when describing the ladies, all right boys?

Do you like to be called a "MILF"?

Image via Zazzle

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