New Mom Secret: I Did Not Check My Sitter's References

Sasha Brown-Worsham

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.

This Week's Secret:

Last month when I went back to work, I needed a nanny fast after the one my husband and I hired before my 4-month-old was born quit just as I was going back to work. My friend had a nanny who had a friend who she recommended to me. I was desperate and she was the only one I interviewed. I didn't even ask her for references. So far, so good, but I feel like I made a major rookie mistake. If something happens, does that mean I am to blame? -- Anonymous

This isn't an easy question to answer. On the one hand, I believe in mother's intuition and I believe in trusting your gut. On the other, I check references almost obsessively. It's hard to imagine not doing so!

No matter how amazing your instinct and how astute your judgment, it isn't possible to know everything for sure. I'm not saying you need to nanny-cam every babysitter, but references are a pretty smart move.

If I were you, I would explain you were in a panic and you need to check her references. And then I would do it. Better safe than sorry, especially when it comes to kids. Do it for your own peace of mind. You will probably be thrilled with what they say and breathe a big sigh of relief.

Do you have any advice for this mom?

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