I have a love/hate relationship with the mommy & me classes. I hate the contrived notion that babies need classes. But I love to see my kids laughing, singing, tumbling, and splashing. Which means I'm already slightly uncomfortable, but also geeking out on my kid as soon as I step in the door.
Naturally, I manage to commit some sort of faux pas while attending in such an ambivalent manner. Usually one per outing. Here are five awkward moments that you too can experience at your favorite mommy and me class. If you try really hard.
1. Not Getting It -- Who's supposed to be clapping? Me? Or just the baby? What if the baby isn't clapping? Do I have to clap by proxy? Or should I be focusing on making the baby clap? Does he need to have "Old McDonald" memorized by the next class?
2. Your Feet -- For some reason, about 80% of the mommy & me classes require shoe removal. Don't ask me why, unless it's simply to show the moms who is boss (the skinny, perky instructor), while further illustrating how far you've let yourself go. If it's not socks with threadbare heels showing up under those slip-ons, it's bare feet that haven't seen a pedicure since last October and, if you're really lucky, with permanent marker stains from your older child who is studying "veins" in pre-school.
3. Lame Baby -- Sure, five minutes before you sat down on the mat, your baby was laughing and saying 'hi' to the receptionist, and anyone else who could catch his twinkling eye. But now he's pulling a stiff body, and there's no way in hell he's going to ring around any rosie, not as long as he can throw a tantrum and turn you into "that poor mother."
4. Crazy Bubble Lady -- This only happened once, and then I decided just to roll with all the shared germs in the overheated mini-gyms. However, after two full months of colds/flus/stomach viruses, I was not going to let my little Petri dish handle the shaker after that kid with the dark yellow snot running out of his nose. I WAS NOT. Maybe covering everything my child touched in hand sanitizer wasn't a great way to make friends. But we dodged that particular, bullet, so -- worth it.
5. Being the only dad -- And having to avert your eyes from the fresh milk-stained t-shirts in the room as the babies all start to melt down. (Courtesy of my husband, who also attends the occasional mommy & me jam.)
What's your most embarrassing moment from a baby class?
Image via Grant Barrett/Flickr