Is it Mean to Have an Only Child?

on November 17, 2008 at 4:25 PM

I've always wanted a big family. I grew up with two sisters and always expected that I'd have more than one kid. Now that I have a baby, I can see why older siblings often "beat up" on their younger brothers or sisters. My baby is the queen, the center of attention, she cries, we jump. I'd feel so sorry for her if baby #2 came along. But still ...

How many kids would you like to have?

About the author Suzanne Murray

is the Parenting & Political editor at The Stir/Moms Matter 2012.

Filed Under: siblings

Comments (22)

ameliasmama1026

on Nov 17, 2008 at 5:04 PM

We thought our dd was going to be an only child. It was a really sad time for me but then we talked about adoption. We now have 2 beautiful daughters. I really wanted Amelia to have the fighting,loving,and sharing. Plus to have all my crazy attention on would have not been good for her in the end.

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KatieCrandall

on Nov 17, 2008 at 5:34 PM

I couldn't vote, because I am so torn on this issue. I've always wanted a ton of kids, my want being multiplied with how easy a time I've had with my little guy, but I feel extremely guilty even thinking about another little one taking the attention away from him. :(

If I focus on how it was for me growing up, I think I'll still be able to have a bunch of kids. I was both an only child and not. My parents each had kids from their first marriages, then came together and had me. I got to experience the full household and some of the fighting and teasing, but my siblings were all 13-20 years older than me, so I usually played alone. My neighbors were pretty good about including me in their family stuff so I got to grow up seeing what it was like...but it's definitely not the same.

My ideal plan is to keep having kids until they all have a brother and a sister, so I need to have at least four. :)

Peajewel

on Nov 17, 2008 at 6:27 PM

I have two children but they are so far apart in age they are both like only children. My son turned 18 and 10 days later my daughter was born.

LovinMyMikayla

on Nov 17, 2008 at 8:15 PM

I have one baby girl, and I think I am done. Our family feels complete. I can devote all my love to her... Children aren't spoiled because they are only-children, they are spoiled because they are spoiled. I also feel like I will be able to give her more opportunites because we will have the time/funds to permit it.

Michaelsmom716

on Nov 17, 2008 at 9:01 PM

There was 4 of us! Me, my sister, and we had 2 step siblings! At first it was hard for us all to adjust, but we got used to each other and now my crazy step-mom left my dad and all four of us are still very close to each other! My sisters are still in school and my brother is in 7th grade! I thank God every day that I have them to talk to and someone to share my thoughts with besides my husband, like how he drives me crazy sometimes! :)

cristy832

on Nov 17, 2008 at 11:53 PM

I only have one son and although everything has its pros and cons.. he and I are very close. I have close friends with more than one child and sometimes it seems like they aren't as close because she's spread so thin. I know she loves them all a lot but she doesn't have as much one on one time and the one on one time my son and I have has given us the absolutely best relationship.. priceless actually as he is going through this new phase (10 years old). I wouldn't change anything.. not to mention I had him very young and having anymore at that time would have been bad for all of us.

ilovegabrien

on Nov 18, 2008 at 12:39 AM

i believe that different ppl have diff needs in the baby deparment umm like me i want a whole house full i want to adopt and pop more babies out (um that sounded lame sorry) but my boyfriend only wants the one we have.

Lorac625

on Nov 18, 2008 at 4:23 AM

I wanted more children and so did my husband, but due to all the chronic illnesses that have crept up on me since age 25, we only have one. Sometimes I think it's OK, sometimes I wish we could have had more or adopted. I have a close friend who was an only, and so was my mom - they are OK, so i try not to worry... TOO much!