Secrets of a New Mom

Suzanne Murray

photo by cafemama

I just read an article on, "12 Things No One Tells You About Motherhood." It's a list of new mommy secrets—things that no one ever shares with you while you're pregnant, but that you'll discover once you have the baby.

Here's the list:

1. Your abs will never recover. No matter how many crunches you do. Say sayonara.

2. Your relationship with your mother-in-law will change. If you got along before, you might not now (she'll be too bossy about baby); if you didn't get along before, you might now (your the mom of her grandkid and she'll respect you).

3. The word vacation will take on a whole new meaning. Ten minutes to yourself is an island paradise.

4. You will love like you never have. Seven thousand times more than your first love in high school or junior high or whenever.

5. Your baby will shock you. They burp, poop, and fart.

6. You'll gain and lose friends. You'll connect with people you never thought you would and you may no longer have the energy for troublesome friendships.

7. You'll love your Baby Daddy. He might annoy you as your husband, but you'll get over it when you hear him getting baby to belly laugh.

8. You'll feel like a celeb stalked by paparazzi. Strangers will comment on anything and everything that's none of their business—the way your baby is dressed, breastfeeding, your baby's name, etc.

9. Your sex life won't exist. What sex life?

10. Your taste in movies will change. Movies where babies are hurt, mommies die, bad things happen to good people aren't allowed in the house.

11. You'll win whether you have a girl or boy. Girls get cute clothes now; you'll be fighting over what girl want to wear later.

12. You'll never find motherhood boring. Your baby is constantly changing—he'll sleep, he won't; he'll eat, he won't. It's always new and fun. Or at least new.

I can relate to 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10 and 12. How about you?

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