Though I make a point to avoid the drama of the show Teen Mom, I can't escape it. It has the same-old, same-old reality show formula: "Let's have a reality show that paints people in the worst light possible ... like a bad train wreck, people can't look away!"
But what gets me about this one in particular is that showing teens like Jenelle sends a message that all teen moms are terrible mothers. Jenelle, who had a brutal girl fight recently, who screams in her son Jace's ear while fighting with her mom on almost every episode, who steals, breaks the law, and is always up to some stupid antics with Kieffer, isn't like all teen moms. All of it just makes it harder for the teen moms out there who aren't overly-dramatic, trashy, and selfish human beings. There are teen moms out there who are great moms.
Now, I'm not saying we need a show that paints being a teen mom as some pretty picture of success and happiness, because we don't. There are enough dumb girls out there making pacts to get pregnant because they think babies are cute yet don't even know the name of all their anatomy and think breastfeeding is "icky."
But damnit, there are a lot of teen moms out there who bust their butts and pick up the responsibility that comes with being a mom and they RUN with it, and become absolutely amazing mothers. And because of shows like Teen Mom that just perpetuate the stereotype that teen moms are stupid kids, real teen moms, teen moms who raise their kids themselves and raise them well, suffer from these perceptions.
Ask any teen mom -- or even moms in their early 20s who look younger -- and they'll recount stories of older women, total strangers, who will come up and start treating them like they're a complete idiot in the middle of a grocery store or mall if their baby is fussing. Sometimes people will even ask if they're the babysitter or if the child is theirs, which is insulting and NONE of the stranger's business.
But guess what? I know quite a few women who got pregnant and had their first child in their teens, and they're often the most driven, amazing moms out there. Not to put down older mothers, because I know quite a few amazing moms who waited longer than society deems "normal" also. The main thing here is this -- stop acting as if age has anything to do with parenting ability. There are 17-year-old mothers out there who are a hell of a lot better than 30-year-old mothers, and some 40-year-old mothers who are way healthier than some 19-year-old moms!
I'm sick and tired of people making assumptions based on age -- yes, teens often have maturity working against them, but I know plenty of adults who seemed to have missed that boat as well. Age really doesn't have that much to do with maturity. EXPERIENCE does, and even more than that, personal responsibility and honesty. It doesn't make any difference if you're 17 or 37 if you think it's okay to leave your kids home alone while you run to the gas station for some more beer. And yet, the younger mom would be branded and called "an example of teen parenting." Stop it. Teen moms are not different. The show Teen Mom is an EXCEPTION, not the norm, and it just makes it harder for real teen moms, the ones who don't have cameras rolling, the ones who are great moms making it work.
It hurts to be thought of as a crappy parent just because you're not X years old. Age is irrelevant.
Do you think all teen moms are terrible moms?
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Comments 126
My friend had her son at 17 and she is an amazing mother. Amen to the nosey strangers. I had my son at 21 and constantly had people try to give me advice. The look on their faces was priceless when I would just stick my crying baby on the breast mid-conversation. LOL
Not to mention that it's scripted, undoubtedly and while it makes her a horrible mother to put her child through that, the fact is, it might have no bearing on who she (or anyone else in the show) is at all.
i had 2 kids before i was 20 and i did a great job both are doing good graduated from school and like she said not all teens are bad and if the parents raised their kids right and support them they might not have issues like that
The show has featured a wide variety of teen moms both bad and good. Leah and Macy are both good moms, while Amber and Janelle aren't. The others fall between.
What the show does show is that being a teen mom is HARD and it requires major sacrifice and things don't end up fantastic and wonderful like some like to imagine. That's what teens need to see and that's why it's great birth control. Babies should come after one has a secure life if at all possible not the other way around.
Im going to be 20 when I have my first. Everyone (family adn doctors) who looks at my age treats me like I moron. I came from a family with 23 cousins younger than I am and helped raise my nephew for a year. I think I know what I am doing and it drives me nuts that everyone assumes that they think my husband *who is a bit older than I am but not by much* knows what he is doing and I dont, which in reality is a total opposite.
Amen! I had my first at 17 and soooo many people looked down on me. Now that i am 21 and expecting my third (the next two were planned!) i still get the looks and the comments. They dont realize that I have a successful marriage and a growin business and we are doing all we can to raise our kids right. But i know many moms that are crappy and they range from 15 to 40 so age has nothing to do with it.
Great article! I feel the exact same way especially because I was a teen mom myself. Kudos! I am now 22, married and just had my second child, age like you said is completely irrelevant.
Thank you for writing this. I became pregnant with my first child while still in high school at 18. I busted my butt to work as a full time waitress and finish high school before my son was born. Once he was here I worked even harder to to gain employment at our local college while completing my bachelors degree in engineering. It's been hard as hell but absolutely worth it. As I grew older and got married it obviously became a bit easier. But still at 24, I'm treated like an irresponsible dumb "young mom" by random women at Target. It's infuriating to be degraded by these women for nothing more then my age.
I do like that Teen Mom shows how hard it is to be a young mom. I think it really blows some teens glorified perceptions of parenthood. But it does add to the stereotyping of teen mothers. I wish they would make more of an attempt to place hard working competent young women on their show. But I suppose that wouldn't be good for ratings.
My mom was weeks away from turning 17 when she got pregnant with me. She married my father, who was 18, and they went on and had 5 more children (total of 6).
Now granted, they are divorced now and they probably shouldn't have gotten married, but THEY DID IT! And they did it well! They raised me and my siblings wonderfully. My mother took young children camping every year of our young lives, many times without my workaholic father.
The upside to my young parents, is that they are still very young and vibrant to play with all of their now 20+ grandkids.
My one sister married at 19 and is a wonderful mother to her 5 daughters.
I have 8 children and they are some of the most well behaved kids around. My teen parents must've done something right to raise us right enough to be raising our children right!