New Mom Secret: My Baby Is Ugly

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.

This Week's Secret:


My baby is almost 6 months old and I'm just getting the hang of parenting. I find my baby totally adorable and pudgy and sweet, but nobody ever says she is cute. They say she looks like my mother-in-law. I know I will sound like a jerk and I feel awful saying this, but my mother-in-law is the LAST person I want my baby to look like. I'm paranoid now that she is going to be unattractive. Not that I want to dwell on shallow things, but still ... Am I a terrible mom for even caring? I don't need a baby model, but I also take a lot of pride in being an attractive woman. I am afraid my daughter may not be. — Anonymous

This is kind of the deep, dark secret of so many moms I know. Not that they think their children are unattractive, but that they secretly take a lot of pride in how lovely their kids are. You are not alone.

That said, you cannot tell much of anything from babyhood. My daughter looks nothing like she did as a baby, and when I look back at her baby photos, I often cringe a bit. To me, she was SOOOO cute. But, well, let's just say I was blinded my new motherhood.

The short story is you are not alone.

The longer story is that obviously looks aren't the only thing that matters. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. I don't mean to sound like I'm talking down to you or dismissing your concerns, but your child will be who she is no matter what. And maybe that means she isn't the most beautiful girl in the school. But maybe she is something else?

Also: ugly babies often become the most beautiful adults. Food for thought.

Do you have any advice for this mom?

Read More >