Give yourself a round of applause, attachment parenting mamas! The hard work you are doing is paying off. We have another study that says just how important bonding with your baby is -- oh, yeah, this one is pretty cool.
This study published in the Psychological Science studied subjects for two decades -- 20 years, folks -- to see how their attachment styles as infants affected their relationships later in life. Turns out, the stronger bond a person had with her mother as an infant, the better she was able to resolve conflicts in her relationships as a young adult.
That's big guns. That's huge. But I'm not surprised.
Yes, there's a lot of definitions flying around of what attachment parenting is, the proper rules of attachment parenting, and so on. I really like what Michele, fellow blogger here at The Stir, wrote: "Many parents practice Attachment Parenting long before they find out that it's been given a name, if they ever do."
She's right. Think of it this way: the bonding you are doing with that baby, the breastfeeding, the babywearing -- that is all attachment parenting. Talking to her about random things throughout the day, responding to her cries quickly, keeping her close to you -- that's all under the attachment parenting umbrella, too.
I call it gettin' in the groove with your kiddo. Here is this little person who you will have a lifelong relationship with -- lifelong is, well, a long time. Relationships of any kind take work, they take time spent together, they take constant nurturing. I like to think that, at the heart of it, attachment parenting is about respect. With attachment parenting, you are treating your child with respect. By doing this, you establish the foundation of the strong relationship, you establish your bond with each other. That's what we want, right? A strong bond? You betcha.
Of course, attachment parenting goes beyond the first year of your kiddo's life -- it's how you interact with your child as she grows. Again, it's respecting her, paying attention to her cues, and providing her with choices rather than rules so she becomes independent and confident in her ability to travel through this world.
So, the results of this study make total sense to me. With attachment parenting, we're teaching our kids how to have good, trusting, stable relationships. Doesn't surprise me that then those babies with strong bonds grow up and handle relationship conflicts, the bumps in the road, in a healthier way than those that didn't have that example.
Nope, this study doesn't surprise me. It energizes me. It give me that little pat on the back that what I'm doing with my kiddo -- which isn't always the easiest or most popular (I'm talking to you, Tiger Mom) -- is all worth it. Let's all feel good about it.
How do you feel about attachment parenting?
Image via LisaW123/Flickr
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Comments 41
I didn't know it was called attachment parenting either. I just did what felt right, what it felt like my child needed. I'm glad that it is being researched because I frequently get critism from others for "spoiling" my baby. I just like to be near him and he seems to like to be near me!
I like what Ursula said. I think this article is misleading, because Attachment Parenting is a parenting style. Being loving, affectionate, and bonded with your baby is just the right thing to do.
I was very closely bonded to my babies. They are 10 and 13 year old boys now, but are confident, secure, smart, well-adjusted kids who are still very affectionate with me.
I was NOT, however, an AP mom. I rejected entirely the sanctimoniousness of the movement, the nastiness of some AP moms online, and the message that their way was the only way. I couldn't breastfeed, I did not sleep with my babies in my bed, and I alternated babywearing with baby-holding, baby playing on the floor, or baby in the stroller. I, and many other moms like me, were great mothers to our babies. We did what the study said is right. But we were not AP moms.
I'm sorry, but if you don't breastfeed, co-sleep or stay close to your baby, you are NOT bonding fully.
Those are things that are proven to make a child healthier, and it has nothing to do with labels.
Attachment parenting is such a phrase used to describe healthy parenting.
People should just parent as they see fit. End of story, spend that research money on more important things. Like a cure for AIDS, or cancer, or CF.
I bottle fed, didn't co sleep, and didn't baby wear. I must be a shitty mom even though my kids are the center of my world. :) who cares if a child is raised in a very loving home, right? it must not count for anything.