Attachment Parenting Proven to Be Best for Your Child


attachment parentingGive yourself a round of applause, attachment parenting mamas! The hard work you are doing is paying off. We have another study that says just how important bonding with your baby is -- oh, yeah, this one is pretty cool.

This study published in the Psychological Science studied subjects for two decades -- 20 years, folks -- to see how their attachment styles as infants affected their relationships later in life. Turns out, the stronger bond a person had with her mother as an infant, the better she was able to resolve conflicts in her relationships as a young adult.

That's big guns. That's huge. But I'm not surprised. 

Yes, there's a lot of definitions flying around of what attachment parenting is, the proper rules of attachment parenting, and so on. I really like what Michele, fellow blogger here at The Stir, wrote: "Many parents practice Attachment Parenting long before they find out that it's been given a name, if they ever do."

She's right. Think of it this way: the bonding you are doing with that baby, the breastfeeding, the babywearing -- that is all attachment parenting. Talking to her about random things throughout the day, responding to her cries quickly, keeping her close to you -- that's all under the attachment parenting umbrella, too.

I call it gettin' in the groove with your kiddo. Here is this little person who you will have a lifelong relationship with -- lifelong is, well, a long time. Relationships of any kind take work, they take time spent together, they take constant nurturing. I like to think that, at the heart of it, attachment parenting is about respect. With attachment parenting, you are treating your child with respect. By doing this, you establish the foundation of the strong relationship, you establish your bond with each other. That's what we want, right? A strong bond? You betcha.

Of course, attachment parenting goes beyond the first year of your kiddo's life -- it's how you interact with your child as she grows. Again, it's respecting her, paying attention to her cues, and providing her with choices rather than rules so she becomes independent and confident in her ability to travel through this world.

So, the results of this study make total sense to me. With attachment parenting, we're teaching our kids how to have good, trusting, stable relationships. Doesn't surprise me that then those babies with strong bonds grow up and handle relationship conflicts, the bumps in the road, in a healthier way than those that didn't have that example.

Nope, this study doesn't surprise me. It energizes me. It give me that little pat on the back that what I'm doing with my kiddo -- which isn't always the easiest or most popular (I'm talking to you, Tiger Mom) -- is all worth it. Let's all feel good about it.

How do you feel about attachment parenting?


Image via LisaW123/Flickr

baby development, babywearing, bonding, breastfeeding, childcare


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar Lori

The study does NOT advocate one "parenting style" over another. Chaet has extrapolated data to support her own parenting agenda. It is incorrect to claim "Attachment Parenting Proven to Be Best for Your Child." The study itself refers to "early attachment security." This does NOT mean attachment parenting.

Lesley Schuit

So do you site the source of this study I don't see where the study was posted you refer to it but don't site it. Just asking

Brandi Jackson

evidently ive done "ap" for all these years thru 5 babies and had no clue it had a name its just boding and being a good mama in my mind!!

nonmember avatar Lori

I e-mailed one of the co-authors directly and requested a copy of the full text study. She very kindly sent me a copy immediately. There is no mention of the Attachment Parenting Style or any other parenting style. "Each target participant’s infant attachment security was measured when he or she was 12 and 18 months old using Ainsworth’s
Strange Situation procedure (Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 1978). At each assessment, certified raters classified each target participant as secure, insecure-avoidant, or insecure-resistant on the basis of the target’s behavior in
response to a series of mildly stressful separations and reunions with his or her mother." (Recovering from Conflict in Romantic Relationships: A Developmental Perspective. Salvatore et al, Psychological Science).

I want to make it clear that I am NOT devaluing Attachment Parenting. I think it is wonderful to respond to your baby's needs with love and concern. If I was so inclined to label my parenting style I believe I would fall under this category. However, I think it is a mistake to make sweeping claim that a study supports a particular parenting style when it does no such thing.

mrs.pyle mrs.pyle

good article, we can twist the opposite any way we want and blame labeling and claim there are other ways to bond but this has been proven to be BEST 

cutel... cuteliltxnmommi

Obviously - as other posters stated - the author completely misconceptualized the study and created a biased piece of material out of something it wasn't. Articles like this are the reason moms begin to bash other moms for parenting choices. Take this into account for example: Alot of new moms turn to resources like the internet and cafemom for information about pregnancy and parenting. If a first time mom who is already emotional and well lets face it - as it goes on we get a little more scared because we have no idea what we are doing - this is the first baby after all. Then we start looking at things like this. Well a study that was done and published in a professional journal. It must be true. So I am going to do this because science says its best for me and my baby. So they develop the same attitude the author has. After all of the influencing from the article the attitude is adopted - did I forget to mention that mom bashing slam  at the end directed toward another user? Well since the author is obviously prominent enough to have a featured article and citing studies done - they must know what they are doing and it is appropriate to publicly slam others for not agreeing with you.

cutel... cuteliltxnmommi


Really? Is this really the environment we want as moms? Food for thought.

And author: not citing your articles other than by name only makes you look shady when it comes to professional documents like that. If you want your information easily absorbed make it easier for the reader to verify - they shouldn't have to call the writers to get a copy of the study to verify your information. That's just lazy.

colie... coliemamiof2

yes yes yes! very much agreed!!! thank you!

Liviann Liviann

Not surpised at all. I don't think parents even need to be ardent practioners of AP, just follow their instint and follow their child.

Kati Lunceford

i like it, but I would like to be able to use the bathroom or take a shower in peace! 

Yea, I have a 2 1/2 yr!

11-20 of 51 comments First 12345 Last