American Hypocrites Slam Single Mothers


single moms bad for societyAnother day, another group of judgmental a-holes trying to make an already maligned group feel badly about themselves. In a surprising (at least to me) poll by the Pew Research Center, seven out of ten American residents say single mothers are bad for society. So go ahead and resign yourselves to visiting the kids in prison, single moms, and plan on being the scapegoat for all of society's ills

It's your fault we're in a recession! it's your fault Wall Street gambled with all of our money! It's your fault we're in the middle of two wars right now! It's your fault all of our children are fat! Single moms are the worst, right?

Can we just talk about the dads for one second?

When you say the words "single dad" a collective, "awwwww!" can be heard around coffee klatches everywhere. But single moms are bad for society? Jeez louise. How do you think single moms became moms? There's a dad in this scenario, and he's single too. Or rather, he's not married to the single mom. Who knows if he's single or not. If he's absent, he's really to blame for any kind of mess the kid makes. If he's involved, then he's a hero and mom isn't?

I'm all for supporting any single parent -- regardless of his or her sex -- who needs it. While I do know a handful of amazing single dads, I know a lot more kick-ass single mothers. My own mother was single for a chunk of my childhood and she rocked. I'm sure the majority of the respondents either had a single mother, were a single mother, or had some type of relationship with a single mother that was positive in some way. Which is why it's so odd that when answering a poll, people suddenly get all nasty about moms who don't have the benefit of having another partner around to help with the daily tasks of child-rearing.

I wish the poll had asked specifically why people found single mothers to be this source of evil. I guarantee you if anyone had to think about their answer for more than the two seconds it takes to formulate a thought, then speak into the phone, the answer would be a different one. Single moms are single for as many different reasons as there are prejudices in America. Judging them all as "bad" is wildly unfair, and much worse for our society than a hard-working mom who is holding it all together on her own. 

Do you think single moms are bad for society?

Image via the bridge/Flickr

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Single moms are not the problem. Any parent that doesn't care about their children or actively parent... now THEY are the problem.  I know and love many single parents that are better that some parent teams I know,  so there is not way that single mothers (or fathers) are to blame for anything,  unless they are just crappy parents to begin with.

Now if we were to look at the poor and overworked single mothers (or fathers) that are desperate to just keep a roof over their kid's head and food in their bellies and have NO help or assistance/relief or resources available and the father or mother is not in the picture or paying child support,  that would be a way to really see what the struggle and issue is.

nonmember avatar Anon

I'd want to see the actual questions and answers before opining on this. I live in the Midwest and I don't see a particular disgust for single moms, unless other factors are involved such as promiscuity, disinterest in working to support the kids, or neglect. I am a single mom by adoption, and it is rare that I get bad vibes about it. However, I work, pay taxes, teach and discipline my kids, keep my house in order, and don't bring men around. I don't use my single-ness as an excuse for "not having time" to do what is best for my kids, or for picking the pockets of taxpayers who made different choices.

nonmember avatar Anon

Oh, and there are statistics to back up the concerns about problems that kids of single moms may have. But I feel it's not because she's single; it's probably because of whatever reason many women are single moms, e.g., immaturity, impulsivity, poor problem-solving and social skills, drug abuse, low education, moral apathy, and a culture of excuse-making.

ajbro... ajbrownies

I think it depends on the way the question was worded with regards to how to answer that question. Studies have shown that children who come from a home with two parents are less likely to get in trouble and more likely to do better in school. That being said there are exceptions to every rule and the reason it falls that way is because there are two people around to pay attention. (Like I said exception to every rule) It's possible those who answered the questioned weren't specifically targeting single moms but single parenting as a whole.

jacob... jacobsproudmom

single parents are awesome especially the ones that are working hard and still manage to parent their child/children in the right path. single parents who work hard and are still involved in their childs education and well being. The ones that dont let them go down the wrong path even though they are at work or working two jobs just to pay the rent and have the basic necessities met.

how about looking at the parent who is not in their lives? the one that left them? They are the problem. They are the problem.

why put the blame on a parent who is doing what is best for their child? why put the blame on a parent who is doing what they can to bring their child up right by being both mother and father??

2baby... 2babybats

I completely agree with you. Somehow us single mothers take all the blame for our children not growing up in a two parent house. My ex husband was very abusive. There were a few times I thought he was going to kill me. BUT I stayed with him because I wanted my kids to come from a "normal" family. Ironically HE chose to walk out after all I put up with to hurt me and instead I came out on top. Themy kids and myself are doing GREAT now, but of course I either get sympathy for my "awful" situation or I come across comments on how no one takes marriage seriously anymore. You wanna give that lecture to someone, please let me send you my ex's number!

Krystal Curry

For one thing, its not always a single moms fault they are single. There are countless reasons a mom could end up single. So blaming them is just stupid.

As for them being bad for society, I know far more screwed up kids that had both parents then I do with a single parent. Its the Parents who rather let school, or TV baby sit then actually do their job as a parent. Its the parents who rather be thier kids friend then their parent, Its the parents who have no clue about what their child is getting into that are screwing up society.

AngiDas AngiDas

Do you know how many single mom raise amazing people in this world? Blaming the world's ills on single parents is STUPID!

angev... angevil53

i would hate to blame one group of the financial spectrum for the downhill society we have. i will say that if more women had supportive men and lived within their means as a family there would be more jobs to go around for each family and children would have great support at home. it's hard being a single mom, i have been there and done that. being tired and cranky is hard on raising a family and i only had one child. now that i stay home and my husband works to take care of us (we don't have any pa) it's easier to care for him and there's one more job out there for someone else to have. i wasn't planning on staying home, it just happened and my dh and i are very happy it works so well for us.

Nimue930 Nimue930

If by "bad for society" you mean do they cost us a lot, then Im sure the answer is yes.  Single parents are the recipients of welfare, more than any other "group".  Food stamps, subsidized insurance, etc goes to single parent families more than two parent families, and since the majority of single parents are mothers, I can see where a question can be worded that single moms are "bad" for society. But it's just one aspect and it doesn't look at the cause of the single family structure.  Maybe the question should be "are parents who leave their children and don't pay for thier support bad for society?"

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