Do You Regret Not Breastfeeding Longer?

on February 2, 2011 at 2:47 PM

The topic of breastfeeding gets a lot of people riled up and upset. It can make the mom who had no milk emotional over the fact that a mom who had a plentiful supply stopped nursing after four weeks. (While some think, What a waste!)

It can also make the mom who never tried regret she didn't. (Gasp!) And it's those moms, the moms who look back on the early days of motherhood and wish they did things differently, the moms who didn't nurse at all or who stopped early, those are the moms I wish would speak up more and help new moms so they don't feel that same regret. I hear a lot of women talk about how they wish they breastfed longer. Or didn't breastfeed at all and wish they tried. We can learn from those women if we let them speak.

And to share experiences, people need to feel safe; they need to feel that they aren't being judged. Got that? I hope so.

There are a lot of things that can derail breastfeeding -- everything from a traumatic birth to just not having enough support. There are even moms who thought breastfeeding just wasn't for them who later regretted that they never tried.

The thing with giving birth and the immediate moments and days following it is that we can't go back in time and change what we did at that time. No matter how much we wish we could return to that amazing time. Or even that frighteningly life-threatening time. We have to move ahead and not live with the terrible burden of regret. And we can turn that regret into helping others. (See? Helping others is GOOD for everyone!)

A woman I know told me that she wishes she asked for more help when trying to breastfeed her first child. I know another who, because everyone in her family always gave their babies formula, she thought that was the only way to go.

The key is opening up to others, seeking help, trying to soak in as much information out there that you can, and then making the best decision for you. And even if you feel you didn't do things the way you should have, you can help others. Every experience a new mom has with breastfeeding can truly help other women.

I'll share mine. I knew I wanted to breastfeed my twins. When I was pregnant, I thought, I'll try to make it to 6 months mostly because all I heard was how hard it was. It's been 14 months and I don't want to stop nursing my twins. The early weeks were challenging at times, but it just got easier. I wish to breastfeed longer. I'm glad I didn't scare myself out of it and that I stuck with it.

So leave a comment or take this anonymous survey -- Do you wish you breastfed longer? If you did, what happened to make you stop? What do you wish you knew then that you do now? Breastfeeding moms and non-breastfeeding moms, what words can you share to help other moms?

Image via Raphael Goetter/Flickr

About the author Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

Filed Under: breastfeeding, natural parenting

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Comments (42)

sherlokke

on Feb 2, 2011 at 2:59 PM

i've got twins, too, and for the few weeks i did get to breastfeed, all i heard from my ex was, "you need ti figure something out. this takes too fucking long."

he's a jerk. i feel like i cheated my kids by trying to supplement formula too soon. it's HARD to nurse two at once with no help positioning them. he was perfectly capable of feeding and waiting on himself...

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Cafe MicheleZ

on Feb 2, 2011 at 3:04 PM

sherlokke, it is SO HARD to do it alone with twins. Sounds like he's your ex for good reason. Hugs mama!

MayhemMatriarch

on Feb 2, 2011 at 3:07 PM

I don't regret how long I nursed my first and second children I loved our nursing experiences, but my third got the short end of the stick for sure. I have full intentions of allowing my newest little one to wean himself.

jupiter84

on Feb 2, 2011 at 3:09 PM

I do wish I had breastfed longer but I am happy I nursed as long as I did. I made it to 9 months with my son, gave up after going back to work, and I made it 16 months with my daughter, working and pumping the whole time.

I feel very fortunate I grew up in a very pro breastfeeding environment. I am the oldest girl of 20 cousins, so I was around a lot of babies growing up and they were all breastfed. I didn't realize there was another way to feed babies until I got older. lol

My goal for any future babies will be to follow child led weaning and wean when they are ready, hopefully with a minimum of 2 years.

Nonmember comment from Anon

on Feb 2, 2011 at 3:13 PM

I agree that sharing experiences helps others, but why all this living in the past? Not one of us can go back and do it over, so let's look forward, shall we? (FTR, mine were adopted so I had no choice anyway.)

KBW2

My goal has always been a year....I made it 2 1/2 with my oldest and weaned him when I was 12 wks pg with my 9mos old.....so far, my DD is still nursing strong...I did have to supplement with her, which was hard bc my son never had 1 bottles, but my milk just didn't come in full force until DD was 4 mos old....I did get over myself and realized I was doing the best I could for her.....that was the best reassurance I got......I hope other moms don't give up, supplement if they need to, but overall to do the best they can with nursing....then there should be no regrets.

RanaAurora

on Feb 2, 2011 at 3:18 PM

I weaned Rowan at 28 months, and I actually do wish that rather than weaning him altogether, I'd just cut out the sleep-related nursings and left some daytime ones instead. The very first time he got sick afterwards, I realized how much he could have benefited from still nursing. Aurora is still nursing at 19 months, and I'm thinking of THIS as a halfway point, at least, to my goal for her.

rebeccahitt22

on Feb 2, 2011 at 3:38 PM

my son chose to stop breastfeeding at 5 months. I had an ampile supply that I went to the LaLeche in my area and was hooked up with a mom who could not nurse because of a medical condition. I pumped and froze my breast milk and delivered it to her once a week for 4 or 5 months after my son stopped nursing. I wish my son nursed longer, but I am happy my milk did not go to waste. The mom who received my milk loved that her child was getting the benefits of breast milk even though she could not supply it herself. Her little girl is exactly 4 months younger than my son. She is big, beautiful and healthy!

Facebook comment from Ashley Farrell

on Feb 2, 2011 at 3:42 PM

I always knew I wanted to try breastfeeding but was convinced I would only make it until he was 3 months when I went back to work. He was too hooked for me to stop so I started pumping at work and am still going strong at 7 1/2 months. I'm hoping to make it until he's at least a year but i've noticed lately that my supply is down with him eating some solids so I don't know if I'll make it last night. Ideally I would like him to be the one to do the weaning and let me know when he's done!