It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.
This Week's Secret:
My husband and I worked for months on names while I was pregnant, but we never found one we liked. We figured it would come when he was born. Well now he's here and it took us three weeks to name him. We finally did and put it on the birth certificate, and three months later, I hate it. I really feel like he has the wrong name and it's driving me crazy. If I change it, I fear I will look nuts, but if I don't, I fear I will hate my child's name forever. — Anonymous
With my first, we found the perfect name we both adored. With my second, we weren't so lucky, and to this day, the choice we made haunts me.
So, I feel your pain.
That said, your son is a baby. If you're ever going to change his name, now is the time. If you really don't like it, it doesn't make you crazy and indecisive. Names are pretty important. Give it another month or so and if it still doesn't feel right, talk to your husband and find out what he thinks. Maybe you agree and you can make the decision to change it.
Do you have any advice for this mom?
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Comments 31
I loved our daughter's name throughout the pregnancy, but the first couple of months after having her I second guessed myself. She has since grown into it and I can't imagine naming her anything else. I still love the name and I'm glad I didn't change it.
Naming baby #2 however has been awful, I'm secretly hoping for a boy this time because I love the boy name we have picked out, but I cannot for the life of me find another girl name that I love. Guess we will find out if we need a girl name or not come the ultrasound next month. :)
I didn't have to struggle with a name for my first little boy! He picked his own name at around 8 months (during pregnancy!) We were going through baby names and as I said each of the 4 we were considering he only kicked on Jacob. We took it as a sign since we mixed it up several times and on different days and he still only kicked on that name, that he liked it. My other son however we had a bit of a different issue with his name! I had Callasandra Grace picked out, then the ultrasound showed that it was a boy, obviously that wouldn't work. So I took 2 names from one of my favorite shows and made his first and middle names. Now I can't imagine him with any other name.
When Avery was born, I didn't think his name fit him. I thought he looked more like a Carson. Well, we didn't change it and after a few weeks he grew into his name. I can't imagine him being named anything else.
Dear New MOM
If after now having lived with this new little person you now know what the perfect name is then by all means change it. And if anyone gives you a hard time time simply say " out of respect for the person he is going to become we felt we had to get know him a bit better before deciding something so important" Some cultures wait several weeks before "officially" naming a baby. No one knows your baby like you do.
I've known a few people to do this. One friend when her baby was 9 months and another at 3 months. It's not the end of the world, it's fixable! Change it if it doesn't feel right, it's your prerogative :)
Agree 100% with this from kelly (from someone whose name really IS Tracy):
"do you have a name that you feel fits better? Or do you just want to get rid of the name you hate, but don't have another one lined up? If you have one that just fits better, then I say change it. If you just want to get rid of the one you hate, maybe go with your gut for about a month, as advised, and see what comes out of your mouth. If nothing really sticks, then probably just hang in there and you'll grow to identify your baby with the name."
If you don't have one you love for the child, wait and see. I had some issues the first couple months with my first 2 kids, but the names were fine- I was just having some emotional issues that made things like that seem a little "off" (I always loved my 3rd child's name). Now I'm fine. Definitely worth using nicknames now (even like "baby") and if the name doesn't grow on you, then you can go through the legal hoops (not so easy) and introduce a new name later.
In my culture, it is rather common for babies to be given one name and then called another later, usually when the baby gets really ill for no reason and/or when they won't stop crying to the point of being ill. We usually believe that a name has to go with the person and some ambitious parents give their children bombastic names that are considered unsuitable for the child and then the names are changed later. Some do it officially and legally and some just agree for the baby to be called the new name by everyone and introduced to other people with the name. The practice is old school and has now ceased to work anymore because more and more scientific explanations are available for all ailments in babies. That being said, I do feel sorry for some parents who have problems finding the right name for their child. But like one reader said, because he is still a baby, it's best to change the name now. You are raising the baby and you are the mother so you have to be comfortable with the name most of all.