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Daily Mail Calls Extended Breastfeeding 'Horrifying'

by Christie Haskell on December 13, 2010 at 3:15 PM

Amanda Hurst probably didn't expect to be made into some kind of obsessed crazy woman when she spoke to Daily Mail about breastfeeding. I'm sure she didn't expect the entire article to suggest she was naive, thoughtless, and the biggest one, that she had a "horrifying" relationship with her older son.

What is it that supposedly makes her so crazy that the author suggests she only appears ordinary on the surface? What could she have done that the "expert" suggests that she's damaging her child psychologically?

Hurst merely tandem-breastfeeds her baby and her 6-year-old.

The title of the article alone, Amanda breastfeeds her six-year-old in tandem with her newborn -- horrifying or a loving bond? made me bristle, but nothing could have prepared me for the sensationalist, insulting, demeaning language within the article itself.

... instead of telling Jonathan he can have some milk from the fridge in the kitchen for his breakfast, Amanda happily pulls up the other side of her top.

So, somewhere along the line, our human children morph into cows and therefore it's much more logical that they drink milk from the fridge than from their human mothers. My son is 6 -- at what age is he supposed to turn into a cow?

When Jonathan was three, Amanda, quite rightly, told him he was too old to breastfeed.

Quite rightly? The author's discomfort with the idea of nursing even a toddler makes it unsurprising that she finds nursing an older child to be "horrifying" and sees no problem with slandering a mother who chooses to do so. She implies that a child who can "prop themselves up" is too old to nurse (my daughter liked to stand to nurse at 10 months), and says how when she arrived, the family seemed quite normal: apparently it's so weird that the entire family unit is abnormal. She has a distinct lack of ability to respect other views.

Even the idea of the older son having new front teeth "alarms" her. Baby teeth are called "milk teeth." Once they begin to fall out, adult teeth start coming in, and children actually lose the ability to suckle. You know, just like all other mammals. Yeah, even cows.

Amanda herself admits that years ago, she saw a friend breastfeeding her 3-year-old and her "eyes popped out," not out of disgust, but shock. A common reaction -- I once thought nursing a 2-year-old seemed odd, but when my son was 2 and still nursing, I understood. It really only seems odd if you haven't been there.

With the minimum recommended age of 2 and encouragement to go beyond, 3 is not that far away, nor strange. But with the defeatist attitude the author displays about how most moms barely make it initially and those who do usually give up at 6 months, is it really surprising that in a culture where women can't even make it out of infancy nursing that seeing toddlers nursing seems so foreign?

The author repeatedly promises negative emotional consequences and even quotes a psychologist:

She is ­teaching him to rely on someone else for comfort, which is not going to be helpful. I wonder, is the breastfeeding for his benefit or for hers?

How dare we teach children that family can be a source of comfort! Amanda repeatedly mentions how she tried to stop, but especially after the birth of their second child, her eldest wanted to nurse and she saw how it helped prevent jealousy issues; common in tandem nursing -- not for her benefit. Her husband saw her struggling with the choice and told her if she wasn't ready to just not stop yet. Additionally, the author and psychologist pointedly overlook the fact that Amanda mentions he only nurses once or twice daily, usually just in the morning.

This article paints extended breastfeeding in such a terrible light
, but it's obvious that the one with an issue here is the author. In other countries, yes even developed countries, breastfeeding into early childhood is considered normal. In Mongolia, the majority of children are breastfed into the childhood years. It's said that the best wrestlers were the children who were lucky enough to be breastfed the longest as well. Strange? Maybe to some of us, but Mongolia also has an 82 percent breastfeeding rate at the first birthday, a goal our country is so far from that it's "horrifying."

Countries with healthy breastfeeding rates look at it as a natural, common, everyday occurrence, unlike the UK and US. Advocates work hard on "normalizing" breastfeeding so it can stop being acceptable to treat breastfeeding mothers like sickos, and instead make people like the author realize they're the ones who could stand to grow up a little.

Do you feel it's the attitude about breastfeeding that dictates a culture's rates? 

 

Image via dailymail

Filed Under: breastfeeding, bonding, behavior, in the news

Comments

105
  • Carri...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Carrie Hogle

    December 13, 2010 at 3:22 PM
    When a child is old enough to ask where babies come from (which is around age 6) they are certainly too old tostill be breastfeeding!
  • leomo...
    --

    leomommy1325

    December 13, 2010 at 3:25 PM

    I seriously hope that the 6 year old doesn't ever bring friends over to his house because once the kid's mom finds out about it, she's liable to think that Amanda is a freak breastfeeding her kid for 6 years.  Wouldn't the 6 year old be jealous of the baby who needs more breast milk?  I don't know if it would do psychological damage sucking on your mom's boob for that long, but it doesn't look right.  That's JMO.  To each her own I guess, but I wouldn't do it for more than a year if I'd done it at all.


  • miche...
    --

    micheledo

    December 13, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    Certainly. I have quit telling people I tandem nurse my 1 and 2 year old. Although I can't imagining nursing until 6, it is NOT horrifying. Ha ha - I should get my oldest to nurse again and get a picture of it. By the time he is 6 he is going to be the size of a 12 year old.  That would REALLY horrify people!!! :D


  • betha...
    --

    bethany169

    December 13, 2010 at 3:27 PM

    Definitely think the culture plays a role--so many people in the US have problems with nursing in general, not to mention in public, because breasts are so sexualized that negative feelings about BFing just get stronger the older the child gets. 


  • ChEMOM
    --

    ChEMOM

    December 13, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    uh oh


  • Jen
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Jen

    December 13, 2010 at 3:28 PM
    There is no reason for a 6 year old to nurse. None. By that age, I mean he can talk and ask for a drink from the kitchen I assume, it's for the mother not for the child.
  • jagam...
    --

    jagamama0710

    December 13, 2010 at 3:29 PM

    Carrie Hogle - There's no logic in your comment. What does asking where babies come from have anything to do with breastfeeding? They have nothing to do with eachother. My 3 year old has asked where babies come from? Is that too old? It's only 1 year over the BARE MINIMUM recommended by the WHO. I unfortunately only nursed her for about 6 weeks so she isn't nursing right now. However, I plan on letting my 9 month old self wean. 

    And yeah, a country's attitude absolutely influences breastfeeding rates. Our country is AWFUL in regards to breastfeeding.


  • Xakana
    --

    Xakana

    December 13, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    Wow. I am SO angry for Amanda. The author should be ashamed and subjected the same garbage from the other end. I can guarantee she wouldn't survive an article written by a vindictive parenting guru from around here. What a fucking BITCH.

    And Christie, I could flick you for making me find out about this :-p


  • frogg...
    --

    froggyt11

    December 13, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    i am so glad that you are standing up for her! these judgmental people think they know best, when many of them don't even have kids! what do they have to say about the formula recall that happened a few months back? have they forgotten?

    and what about the World Health Organization that put the average age of weaning to occure between 2 and 5 1/2 ?

     

    btw love the part about kids becoming cows it made me lol


  • Dispe...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths

    December 13, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    I think when a child is old enough to ask to be breastfed then by default, they're ALSO perfectly capable of saying when they no longer need to be!  I think the CHILD is the expert on how long they need to breastfeed for.  There is good evidence that children who take a long time to wean are doing so because their immune system requires the additional support.   If more people breastfed to begin with, then more people would naturally continue until at least two - or, as the WHO recommends - until 2 years OR BEYOND.  Then this story would not be such a big deal.  The TRUELY horrifying thing is that more people do not breastfeed - and are not sufficiently supported (both by their healthcare providers and by society in general) to do so! 


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