New Mom Secret: I Lie About Why I Don’t Breastfeed

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.

This Week's Secret:


I knew from the time my son was conceived that there was no way I was going to breastfeed him. I was uncomfortable with the idea of putting my breast in his mouth. It just didn't appeal to me as a concept, but there was so much pressure to do it. I felt like I had to have a reason other than "I don't want to." So after I met a friend who couldn't breastfeed because she had a breast reduction, I started telling people the same thing. "I have medical reasons," I told anyone who asked. Now my son is 2 months old and I have used that excuse a million times, but I feel kind of bad lying when people ask more details. — Anonymous

I feel bad when reading this because when I was a new mom, especially the first time, I know I looked down on people who weren't breastfeeding unless they had a "medical reason."

Now, of course, I know I was wrong.

In early motherhood, we all get so caught up in judging one another, mostly because we are all so desperately insecure ourselves. Was breastfeeding the best option for me and my family? Yes. Because it didn't make me cringe and was relatively easy, and my kids loved it.

But if it isn't the best choice for you, you shouldn't feel like you have to justify that to anyone. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Life is just too short for the judgement. I get why you might not want to tell people the truth in passing, but it might also help demythologize some of it. Some people don't want to breastfeed. Some people can't. So what?

Do you have any advice for this mom?


Image via Facebook

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