New Mom Secret: I Really Dislike Other Moms

Sasha Brown-Worsham
10

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.

This Week's Secret:

Everyone told me when I first had my children that I would make a ton of new mom friends. That hasn't happened. The moms I met in my first baby class were all much older and seemed to view me poorly. I have just never found my groove with fellow moms. Much as I like my old friends, none of them have kids and I really feel alone. How can I make new mom friends? Everyone else seems to be doing it, but I hate everyone I meet. They are too competitive or too judgemental or too boring or talk too much about their kids. They don't seem to like me either! I like to talk about things other than my kids and see movies and hang out. Do other moms not do that?  — Anonymous

I've also found that making new mom friends is hard. I'm also not sure why. I've met a lot of moms I like, actually, but it took a lot of time. My daughter is 4 and I would just now say that I have "mom friends" I consider real friends.

The fact is, there is a separation. A lot of the women I met after my daughter was born were just not my speed. Even from the time she was very little, I was always wanting to talk politics and movies and pop culture while they wanted to talk about diapers.

This always made me feel guilty, but I soon found other like-minded women. It does take time. And I went through a lot of doozies. I think it also matters where you're located. If you're in an area where people tend to go back to work and if you do that yourself, you will find moms in that mindset. If not and you do go back, it can be hard to make friends.

I was in the half and half where I was working from home as a freelancer, so I had one foot in Stay at Home Mom life and one foot in Working Mom life. Anyone who thinks the Mommy Wars are not real should try to do that. Neither side will like you!

In all seriousness, it's like making friends any other time in life. You will find some people who rock and some who stink. When someone is bad, move on. Assume it's them, not you. You will find your niche!

Do you have any advice for this mom?

 

Image via Facebook

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