Back before Kavi was even a thought in our heads, my husband and I had a discussion about how many kids we wanted and when. In our idyllic, pre-baby naivete, we thought two under 2 would be ideal. We wanted to keep our kids close in age, so they'd bond more and always have each other for company.
Partly, this was based on my own childhood experience. My younger sister and I are only 16 months apart, Irish twins if you will. And we had a great time, growing up, built-in BFFs and partners-in-crime. I would love for Kavi to have a similar experience with her sibling(s).
I was discussing the issue last week with one of my best friends -- and one of my only other mommy friends. Her son is just about 2 1/2, and she's working full-time, crazy hours in New York City, where pre-school tuition runs about the same as college tuition. She wants to plan for another child so her son will have a sibling, but she knows it's not feasible for at least a year, given her workload, finances, and goals.
And as much as that two under 2 thing sounded great before we actually had kids, it now seems completely, unfathomably insane to me. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm working full-time, I'm in grad school, and I have a 9-month-old. The last thing I need to add to my overloaded plate right now is a pregnancy -- or worse, a newborn. It's just not something I can handle right now.
Thankfully, my husband is on the same page. We revisited the conversation recently, and we figured out that our original plan just wouldn't work for us right now. We don't want to wait too long -- we would like Kavi to be close to her siblings, but also, I'm already in my mid-30s, and age does play a factor. But we want to be able to enjoy our time with Kavi as an only child, to let her play the baby for a little while. Right now, with just the three of us, our little family is the perfect, most-manageable size. Financially, emotionally, physically, it's just about all we can handle at the moment.
So we've decided to put off TTC again for at least a year. By then, I'll be in my final year of grad school, and hopefully will have something substantial to show for it. Plus, if we wait a year, my pal and I will probably be pregnant at around the same time. (Yay! Mommy friends!) And that, as silly as it seems, would make it that much more fun!
How did you decide when to start planning kid number two (or three or four)? What factors played into your decision?
Image via demandaj/Flickr