New Mom Secret: I Pulled the Goalie Without My Husband's Consent

Sasha Brown-Worsham

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.

This Week's Secret:

My husband and I had an epic battle over whether or not to have our first child. We're older (both 41) and he barely wanted children. I finally got him to agree, but he's pretty adamant that we're now done. He loves our daughter who is 9 months old, but he's done. I'm not done. I don't want just one child. When I went back for my 6-week appointment, I told him I went on the mini pill, but I actually didn't. I'm nursing right now, so I haven't had a pregnancy yet, but I might once I start to wean. I feel badly, but I know he will love the baby just like our daughter once he or she is here. -- Anonymous

I think what you're doing is very, very, very wrong. Why would you even want to have a baby with a man who doesn't want one?

It's his reproductive life, too, and he deserves to know what you're up to. There is almost nothing I can tell you that won't make me sound horribly judgemental and that is mostly because I do judge this decision.

It's wrong and cruel to everyone involved, most importantly to your future baby. Some things to ask yourself: What will you do if your husband walks out? How sure are you that he won't? Is it worth risking?

These are the conversations you have before you get married. If you get pregnant without his consent, that is a very rotten thing to do to someone.

Do you have any thoughts for this mom?

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