What Else Can You Push Out?

April Peveteaux
1

smuggling drugs in vaginaThanks to Alien, we all have a fear in the deep recesses of our soul about something other than your baby being delivered when it's time to push. For one inmate in Cincinnati, that reality wasn't scary, it was pre-planned to carry something other than her baby into the delivery room.

January Newport, a 24-year-old pregnant inmate, concealed anti-anxiety medication she was taking inside her vagina, and it was discovered because a baby had to come out of that hide-y hole as well.

Now I'm not recommending that you stash drugs up in your womb, but your belly is so huge, and your birth canal becomes so flexible, I bet there's room for a few other items you could use at birth.

Like say --

A college fund -- How else are you going to pay for that bundle of joy's rapidly rising tuition?

Richard Simmons -- Because he can help you get rid of that baby weight, pronto.

One year of maternity leave -- Ha, ha. Just kidding. I know that the weight it would take to bust up hundreds of years of women-unfriendly policies can't be carried in your womb.

Come to think of it, maybe that convict in labor was on to something. Drugs could be very helpful right about then.

If you could smuggle something in your uterus, what would it be?

 

Image via seanmcgrath/Flickr


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