New Mom Secret: I Lie to Other Parents

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.

This Week's Secret:


It started really innocently. A friend's baby could roll from back to stomach and mine was ALMOST there. Almost but not quite. So I told her he could. Just because I hate that look of pity you get when your kid is "behind." "He'll get there," they always seem to say smugly. Then it got worse. My son is just a late bloomer, so it got to the point where I was refusing playdates with my moms' groups because my baby couldn't walk and all of theirs could. Now our babies are 2 and everyone else's talk in complete sentences and my son says like three words. His doctor says he is fine, but I can't stand the way the other moms look at me, so I tell them all these things he "says" and I post them on Facebook, but the truth is, I'm lying. -- Anonymous

Anyone who has had a slower developing child (or a much faster one) knows your pain.

My older child is very advanced intellectually (although not physically) while my younger one didn't walk until he was 19 months. In both cases, I was worried.

Moms' groups are so great in that they provide us with peace of mind, but sometimes they also make us feel insecure or the opposite. Neither is true. Just because a little girl can read at 3 and another one can't until they are 6, it doesn't really mean anything. It just means the 3-year-old was interested and learned it faster. It isn't a prediction of success or even really a measure of intelligence.

The moms with the "advanced" or "gifted" children would love to think it is, but it isn't. My son learned to walk at 19 months and now at 26 months, you would never know he was a late walker when he plays with other kids. Kids develop differently.

I do wonder what kind of friends you have, though. If they do pity you and act superior because their babies roll over, maybe you should join another moms' group?

Do you have any thoughts for this mom?


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