In the last few months my babies have had Easter Equine Encephalitis, Attention Deficit Disorder, massive head injuries, and broken bones ... in my head.
I am a hypochondriac mama and if you have ever felt the need to check your baby's temperature every three hours, you may be one, too. Luckily I have a patient, loving pediatrician who understands I am neurotic and allows me to speak my paranoia.
This way I don't feel dumb for calling her at 2 a.m. because my baby threw up or bumped his head on the crib slats. They know me well.
Here are 10 signs you may be a hypochondriac mama, too:
- You've lied about your baby's temperature: You know that in order to get an appointment faster, your baby has to have a 103-degree temperature, so you waste no time explaining the truth (that it's only 100.4). After all, what is three degrees when your baby's health is at stake?
- You tie symptoms together that happened weeks apart: Your baby bumped his head on Friday and puked on Wednesday. Clearly that means he has a concussion, right?
- You make your children take their temperature rectally: You know your baby is too old for rectal temps, but every degree counts and you want to know it to the decimal point.
- Any temperature over 99 degrees is panic time: You don't want to freak, but if it ain't 98.6, it ain't healthy.
- You run to the ER when you hear a thud "just in case": Just because you don't see your baby hit his head or any sign that he did doesn't mean you shouldn't visit the pediatrician.
- Your co-pays are $600 a month: Better safe than sorry you always say, but your flex spending account sees a lot of action thanks to your weekly ER visits.
- You secretly sussed out your pediatrician's home phone and keep it "just in case": Your pediatrician keeps it under lock and key, but that hasn't stopped you.
- You plan to puree your baby's food well into their fourth year: Again with the better safe than sorry. Your baby may have teeth and know how to chew, but you aren't taking any chances.
- Every corner in your home is padded: You can't baby-proof the world, but you would love to try.
- You have poison control on speed dial on your cell phone: It's one thing to keep the magnet on your fridge. It's another to program the number into all your cell phones.
If you're a hypochondriac mom, never fear. You are in good company. Be proud! Neurotic is the new "in" thing to be.
Are you paranoid about your baby's health?
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