While Tiffani Thiessen continues to grow her career, she has some of the best childcare around for baby Harper Renn -- grandma.
“She’s living with us here in New York,” Thiessen said of her mom, Robyn. “I wouldn’t be able to do it without her.”
There are so many reasons grandparents can be THE most incredible people to care for your children other than yourself. After all, they raised you and probably love your children at least as much as you do.
And many more parents today rely on their parents to help raise children, especially with the tough current economic times. According to a recent article in The Washington Post, currently 1 in every 10 children now lives with a grandparent, and many more provide care. It's been dubbed the "granny nanny" movement.
While some cases, like Thiessen's, can be ideal, there also can be plenty of challenges when it comes to grandparents acting as caregivers.
Sometimes there are issues when it comes to who makes the final parenting decisions. I've heard from plenty of miffed parents when grandparents O.D. their children on junk food, or take them places and buy them things parents don't want them to.
There can be a fine line between spoiling and a complete disregard for parents' wishes.
The generation gap can also have safety implications if grandparents aren't willing to change their ways.
For example, most grandparents put their own babies to sleep on their stomachs, but as we all have learned (or should have learned), the safest way for a baby to sleep is on his back. According to Bill Schid, founder of HALO (which manufactures sleep sacks), 40 percent of parents with children 2 years old and younger are worried grandparents won't follow their instructions to put their baby on her back.
And when grandparents have to step in to help with grandchildren out of necessity rather than desire, it can create a whole other host of problems.
"These are not necessarily grandparents who are retired," Amy Goyer, a family expert with AARP, told The Washington Post. "They're preparing for retirement, and a lot of times their retirement savings is going down the drain. They lost it or it was undermined by the economic situation, and now they're spending it on family. It puts the grandparents' generation in jeopardy as well."
As unique as each family is, so is each grandparent's relationship with their grandchildren. The most important for any of them, however, is open communication and a commitment to work together to do what's best for the children regardless of any situation.
Personally, I'm ready to build on a mother-in-law apartment the minute my mom decides to retire.
Do you have a granny nanny? What issues have you faced and how have you worked them out?
Image via Splash News
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Comments (10)
if my grandmother had not passed away when i was 9 she would be the ONLY person i would leave my son with.
I have one and my mil is a pain in the butt.
No, but when we lived closer to come both my mother and my mother in law would help with our son on occasion.
Most days, I wish my parents lived closer and could do more of this--my dad is mostly retired because the family business is sooooo slow, and my mom works from home so between the two of them, when they come to visit, they are lifesavers! They're really great about listening to my 'instructions' on parenting and follow everything pretty much to a T :) I have pretty great in-laws too, although they're a little more hands-off when the grandkids are babies. But once the kids are school age, they're all about spending time with them. I'm really lucky!
My mother in law is too scatter brained and self involved (she's been going through a "selfish phase" since before I met her) My father in law is too busy and too gruff, and my mother has stage 4 lung cancer. So grandparents watching kids is NOT an option. Luckily I have a sister in law my kids love who is a stay at home wife and is willing to watch them.
my grandmother practically raised me, however, my mother cannot handle watching my son for more than a few hours at a time, if that. If I have a job interview or dr. appointment she'll watch him, but if I want to get out the house for a date with my husband the answer is no, she's too busy.
We also have totally different ideas when it comes to raising children, so maybe its a good thing she doesn't watch him. I am still slightly jealous when I see other grandparents who can't seem to get enough of their grandkids. Good for them.
We don't have a full time "granny nanny", but my MIL and GMIL help me out with the boys a couple of hours a week. I only wish my mom lived closer, because he schedule would allow her to be very helpful. I do butt heads with them at times regarding a difference in opinions on various issues, but so far I am lucky nothing too major and nothing safety related. My mom actually is a childbirth instructor and encourages new parents to put babies to sleep on their back and use a Halo Sleepsack rather then a loose blanket. I do my share of complaining about the grandparents, but I can't imagine parenting without their help.
My parents are totally hands on when it comes to the grand kids and I thank God everytime I call on them. No reason to watch them is too petty, no time is a bad time. As a matter of fact my Mom is spending the night Thursday to get them off to school Friday, then picking them up after school and taking them home so I can go to a Church Conference this weekend. All I had to do was ask and provide times. No problem. They are also VERY good about instructions and limits. IE: This one is grounded from this or that, this one has to be here or there. Now are they a little more likely to fall on the yes side of things I may say no to? Of course. They are Grandparents, dessert is a right not a privilege (not so when I was a kid), hot choc. 30 minutes before bed?? Make Grandpa some too! Stay up late to finish a movie?? Well ya have to know how it ends don't ya? But safety issues? Mom is worse than I am. Wandering the uber safe neighborhood they live in? Take the dog and call in every 20 minutes. I would have moved back home sooner than I did if I had realized what a wonderful resource they are...lol...