If Classes Were Taught By Babies ...

Amy Keyishian

Baby Back to School
Professor Baby will school you.

It’s September, and everyone’s talking about going back to school! Stores are having sales … my friends are obsessing over homework … even the Glee kids are back at (on) their desks. I feel so left out, what with the newborn and the toddler not being academically ready!

I know, I know -- we’re so behind. I should have gotten those intrauterine flash cards!

But it occurs to me that while neither of my kids are signing up for classes, they could sure teach people a thing or two. That’s right, my intelligent and brilliant daughters should follow in their grandparents’ footsteps and teach! Ready to sign up? Here’s the Baby U Course Listing:

BRF -- Beginner Spit-up: Hork and Horkability
PEW -- Diaper Filling: When, How, and Why
YAY -- Introduction to Naked Time
EEK -- Advanced Tantrum: Somebody’s Got to Do It
AWW -- Studies in Cute: From Eyelashes to Two-Eyed Winking
DUH -- Math: How Many Is This Many?
MUS -- Music Time: Again! Again! AGAIN!!!
ZZZ -- Sleepy Time: It Ends at Dawn
RED -- Studies in Heroism: Elmo, Elmo, Elmo
TIT -- Breastfeeding Symposium: Exposing Mommy’s Nipple
DOH -- Climbing Seminar: Finding the Most Rickety Chair
WAH -- Your Health: Owies Hurt and Are Bad
GRN -- Critical and Theoretical Perspectives on Boogers
BUB -- Special Project in Bath Splashing

What class could your kids teach? Tell us in the comments!

Image via Phil Scoville/Flickr

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