Teach Your Baby Anything in Seconds

Christie Haskell

If one thing unifies us all as parents, it's that we all want our children to be brilliant. We spend hundreds of dollars on videos that claim to make 8-month-olds speak Swahili.

We use flash cards for babies and are convinced that the sooner they know their ABCs, the better, regardless of studies that show that early academics can result in lack of social, emotional, and problem-solving skills.

But what if you could skip all of that? What if you could make your baby a master, instantly smart, in something of your choice?

I'm talking total fiction, of course, but what if you could plug your baby into something, The Matrix-style (without all the fighting for the end of the world against giant robots and pain from a plug in your head stuff), and instantly have them be an expert in something?

If you could, what would you choose? Remember that according to Matrix rules, it's quite specific -- Trinity didn't learn how to fly ALL helicopters, she only learned how to fly that specific one.

How about Latin? Everyone wants their child to speak fluent Latin and say, "Mom I hate you" that way, right? ("Matris, ego contemno vos!") Well not quite, but it would give them a huge benefit in lots of languages in the future, and a major understanding of medical and scientific terms.

Maybe pediatric neurosurgery? Set for life in finances, saving the lives of babies! Able to support me in my old age! Hmm. I don't know if I'd be a fan of my baby trying out brain surgery on her doll, though ... or her day care friends.

How about ... the ability to play all the songs written by Beethoven on the piano? Everyone should know an instrument, and the piano is a beautiful one that takes great coordination. Not seeing a downside to this one, other than the cost of a piano. But frankly, if my kid can play Allegro, I think we could easily find someone to donate a piano, don't you think?

If you could choose one thing for your baby to instantly learn every detail of, what would you choose? Do you think we rush kids to learn too much too quickly?


Image via B&K Weaver/Flickr

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