Breastfeeding Woman Makes Man Hungry

My attention was recently turned to a blog post on Citizen of the Month called The Inconsiderate Breastfeeding Woman. As you can imagine, I went in with my dukes up.

After all, short of ripping your whole shirt off and spraying breast milk everywhere like a sticky fountain, it's rare that a breastfeeding woman actually does anything inconsiderate in public other than feeding her baby -- something that other people have a problem with, despite the fact she's doing nothing wrong.

The writer -- a man named Neil Kramer -- starts out explaining that he's currently sitting in a coffee shop, and the woman directly across from him is breastfeeding her baby (albeit with a shawl she's using to try to cover up) and he's really struggling to keep his eyes away from her table.

Thing is, it wasn't her boobs (which he wasn't even sure if he saw) that he couldn't stop looking at.


It was her bagel.

I stare at that bagel and cream cheese. I ogle it. Will she ever get a chance to eat it? She’s been feeding her baby for ten minutes already. How much does this baby need?

Oh, the humanity! At this point, I was laughing my butt off. Obviously this was not what I went in expecting to read, and I was pleasantly surprised. If you haven't already, go read the whole thing. I'm trying not to spoil it! While you're at it, read the comments. Some of them are almost funnier than the post itself.

Though, let me be serious for just a second and comment on his last paragraph:

This is all very uncomfortable. Please, women. If you ARE going to breastfeed in public, do not order your bagels with cream cheese until you’re FINISHED feeding your baby. I understand you have “rights” to do what you want, but when I think about those two round, juicy mounds of goodness, I can’t control myself. I want them in my mouth NOW! I’m sorry to sound crude, but bagels with cream cheese are meant to be eaten and enjoyed, not displayed for everyone to see, tempting the weak. Be considerate!

Now, obviously he's just being funny still ... but he's also mocking the arguments that are commonly used against breastfeeding. In fact, they're more often used by women who act as if their husband seeing another woman's functioning breast is akin to a stripper waving tassles -- the man is just helpless to resist (which I think is insulting to guys as well, but that's neither here nor there).

When using a food analogy -- a fantastic-sounding bagel (gosh, I'm hungry) -- it seems really stupid, right? I mean seriously ... telling a person that they're bothering you by tempting you with their bagel they're not eating?

Yeah, well ... it's just about as stupid as suggesting that a woman nursing in public is just trying to show off her boobs. That is to say -- pretty dang stupid.

Now excuse me, but I need some coffee and a bagel. And thank you, Neil, for the laugh!


Image via erin.kkr/Flickr

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