Lindsay Lohan Should Get Her Tubes Tied Now

There is some speculation as to whether Lindsay Lohan clipped a baby carriage with her Maserati this weekend.

According to reports, the terrible driver and all-around terrible human hit a baby carriage last week with her car and then drove away. Whether the reports are true or not remains to be seen, but one thing that is true:

Lindsay Lohan should never, never never have babies of her own.

Oh, I know she's young. She may change. But really, haven't we seen enough insane starlets have children and not turn around? Look at Kate Moss (where IS her daughter while she's doing drugs and partying?) and Britney Spears as role models, Lindsay, and get your tubes tied now.

Here are five reasons:

  • "White Oprah": LiLo's mother refers to herself as "White Oprah" since her daughter's friends used to come to her with all their problems. These are bad genes, no doubt, but even if this were not enough to convince us, let us also remember that "White Oprah" is the one who pushed her daughter into the spotlight and, therefore, must be partially responsible for the mess that is her current life.
  • Michael Lohan: Lindsay's father is a fame-seeking womanizer who has been in and out of prison and uses Lindsay and their family name to keep himself in the news. To keep these genes from carrying on further, it's best to stop them now.
  • Many parties left: I truly hope Lindsay gets better, but she's only 24. I sense there are many parties left to have and many opportunities to forget birth control and accidentally breed somewhere down the line. If she gets fixed, that concern is done.
  • Driving: With her driving record (this incident was the second in a week), it would probably be best that she never transport an innocent child inside her car. The ones on the outside are in enough danger as it is.
  • The Britney Effect: I think Britney Spears is an example to all former child stars thinking of becoming mothers. Motherhood brought her to her knees. Beware, Lindsay. She may kind of have it together now, but it's still shaky.

OK, so I may be mean, but let's face it, too many people have children that shouldn't. I would rather be mean than be proven right. Think about it Lindsay! 

Am I being too harsh?


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