Nearly 60 percent of Americans say they'd like to see child-only sections on flights. That certainly confirms my leper-like feelings when I board a plane with my children, and pisses me off, just as it did Sasha in her recent post.
But give me a child-only airline, and I'm flying high on a cloud of perfection.
Can you imagine how much less stressful it would be if everyone on board was also flying with children, and the airline actually catered to families? No glares from hundreds of strangers as you approach as they will you to keep walking. No more sighs as you and baby sit down next to Mr. Grump.
I can and have imagined many times such idyllic aviation. Here's what I envision in a world where the skies really were friendly -- child-friendly:
Flight Attendants I have encountered many a helpful flight attendant while traveling with my children. I've also encountered more than a few who walk down the aisle and whack my baby with a stray elbow, or when I finally get her to sleep, yell loudly: "AND WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRINK TODAY?"
They wouldn't do that on this airline.
Restrooms Bodily functions in an airplane are among the most challenging aspects of flying with children. This airline would come complete with multiple changing tables for changing diapers, as well as restrooms large enough to accommodate a child and a parent at the same time -- if you've ever tried to get a toddler to potty on an airplane alone, you know how helpful a few extra feet could be.
Seat Space Seats would be spaced far enough apart that little legs couldn't kick the one in front of them. This would save much annoyance both from people getting kicked and for parents who typically spend their entire flight trying to make sure their children don't kick the seat in front of them.
Car Seats Ever try to get through an airport with two children, two car seats, and a stroller all by yourself? Yeah, me too, and I've run half marathons that were less taxing. This plane would come equipped with pre-installed car seats and booster seats so this wouldn't be necessary. If you need one at your final destination, you could check it.
Language When going over safety rules, flight attendants would not say things like "in case of a crash landing" or "in case of oxygen loss" to freak out older children.
Headphones Noise-cancelling headphones would come with every seat -- in sizes for children and adults. It's a flight full of children, after all.
Speaking of which, complimentary wine for mothers should also be included.
What would you like to see on a child-friendly airline?
Image via woodleywonderworks/Flickr