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Every mom I know wants to beat their husband's head in with their freshly washed frying pan if he dare utter the words, "What did you do all day?"
When you've got babies, especially mobile ones, chores take on all new challenges. I know I didn't fully appreciate the sleepy, predictable, totally simple newborn stage the first time around, but after getting a taste of what was to come with my first child, I valued every minute of the newborn sleepiness since any time a baby was not in my arms was invaluable cleaning time -- even if I was cleaning myself after an embarrassingly long period of time without having showered.
Now that she's much bigger though, and after having gone through toddlerhood already with my son, I'm reminded of why my chores -- which I despise in the first place -- take on a whole level of skill.
Not to mention why I want to smother my husband with a pillow when he says, "I don't know why you couldn't do it; it only took me about an hour."
Yes, an hour ALONE. By yourself. With no "help." Help of the baby-kind is ... special. Let's take a look at the way Mom and Dad do laundry:
Laundry Dad's Way:
- Wait until wife has all the children at the store with her
- Gather clothes from hampers into arms
- Carry to washer
- Put into washer
- Put soap into washer
- Turn washer on
- Put in proper soaps
- Go watch TV for an hour
- Come back and move things to dryer
Laundry Mom's Way:
- Carry baby with you to gather dirty clothes
- Make six trips to the washer because one arm is full
- Make a seventh to pick up the things baby pulled out of your arms and dropped
- Drop seventh armful and almost drop baby when you step on a toy in the hall
- Put clothes in washer
- Take everything out to figure out what baby just dropped in that made a "clink" sound
- Put clothes back in washer
- Try to measure detergent, have baby grab your arm and make you spill way more than you wanted
- Stare at overflow of detergent on clothes, debating whether or not that's enough soap to cause some epic overflow of suds
- Decide you're too tired to care and turn on the water
- Go change a dirty diaper
- Nurse the baby
- Play with puppets that your baby rips off your hands, then insists you put back on 20 times
- Go to start dishes and remember that you can't run hot water in the dishwasher while the washing machine is going
- Take baby for a nap and fall asleep yourself
- Go to move things from the washer to dryer
- Remove baby from dryer
- Pick up wet clothes off the floor that baby pulled out of the dryer
- Throw in a dryer sheet
- Take dryer sheet away from baby
- Close the lid and pick up crying baby
- Realize the next morning when you wake up that you forgot to run the dryer and now the clothes smell stinky, so you have to wash them all over again
So please, ask me again why it took me so much longer. I dare you.
Image via chiclet731/Cafemom
Comments (32)
THIS. Oh, THIS!!! The first day I left my husband alone with my toddler all day, I came back and asked him how it went. Now, he's an awesome dad, and I love him with all my heart. So, he says "We went to the park, this, that, she took a nap while I rode the elliptical machine and showered, then we had lunch...." Okay, I was happy he had a great day, and had he stopped there... but he kept going. "I don't know why it's so tough for you!" He immediately knew he screwed up. My response "What's for dinner? Did you go to the grocery store? Has the dry cleaning been picked up? The shower head is still leaking. Did you do any laundry? Are those your lunch dishes in the sink? Did the bills get paid?" It's easy to handle for one day. When its' every day, and you're responsible for everything, that's when life isn't so simple. I think this misunderstanding is at the crux of the working moms saying they'd go crazy at home all day (not that they've got it easy, dont' mishear me). If you've never done it for AT LEAST 2 weeks in a row, you have no clue what it's really like. Everything has to get done in this intricate ballet of working around a baby (or a baby + toddler + preschooler...). Not to mention actual parenting!
And no, I didn't expect him to do those things. I wanted him to enjoy just being with her for the day. It's just the thought that that's all I have to get done in a day!
OMG. When my son was a newborn (he is almost 2 now) and would sleep for sixteen hours on end, and wake up and do a little yelpy cry and look at me for ten mins then fall back asleep, I would sit and STARE at him in his bouncy chair/crib/whatever and just wonder, WTF? What do I do now? Is he okay? Can I go to the bathroom? I need to watch his breathing. Should I put on Law and Order, or will that affect his learning skills later on? HELP. People used to laugh at me, like, what is the problem?! Now that he is TWO, and I am pregnant and due in December, I laugh at my first mommy self too! Like, oh what I would have DONE with the time I never knew I had!!!!! It's hilarious, and I am glad someone else feels like this.
:) Yes, the second round of new born sleepyness is so much better appreciated then the first. Chores stink, but when you have those sweet little 'helping' hands... you'd pull you hair out if you had the time or free hands to do it ( but of course- you don't).
Brilliant! tiny bit of an exaggeration but not much! for me i have a hard time doing laundry cause my washer is in the basement, i dont want my son down there and he can get out of his play pen and high chair so i have to run down there while he is watching a movie throw things in and run upstairs hoping he didnt break anything or fall behind the couch or something,than run back down and put it in the dryer, by the end of the day i either have stink laundry cause i forget about it cause im not able to hear when it stops,or i have a pile of clean laundry downstairs on a table cause i dont really have time to take it up stairs,or if i do still finding time to fold it seems impossible, so than my husband complains cause he still has to dig through the laundry basket to get the clean clothes
I swear I almost kicked my SO in the privates when, after I had my second son, he came home from work to find out my 4 year old had marked on his wall and the TV with blue marker. His first reponse? "What have you been doing all day?" I must have gave him an insane look because he quietly retreated to wash the marker off. My post partum depression set me off, I started crying, reminding him that while he was sound asleep for a full 8 hours, I had the joy of waking up every 1/2 hour with a screaming newborn to nurse or change his diaper. Then I got to get up at the same time he did to cook breakfast, do laundry, entertain my 4 yr old and keep the baby happy, cook dinner so HE could eat as soon as he got home from work and he was upset with me for failing to stop the marking of the wall?!? LOL those were some fun times in our house. He is a stay at home dad now, but my uncle does the cooking, so he still doesn't know what it's like to be reponsible for the entire household all alone. The kids are now in school all day so he doesn't get their "help" either. You know, the one where the little one wants to help put the clothes in the dryer, but insists on putting them in one sock at a time?
haha!! This is awesome and so true. When my son was a baby and I was working two and three part time jobs at a time (two of the jobs I had my son WITH ME) and my husband would be home with him while I was working my other job I would come home to find everything I had done while HE was at work undone... He didn't even bother to try to do anything while taking care of the baby. EVER.
Exaggeration, MrsAJHilton? :)
Oh god, how I wish I was exaggerating. That WAS my day.
I wish I could share with you the example of my cooking as well. My brain in functioning on "Low."
I see absolutely NO exaggerations! None at all. The pulling the wet clothes from the dryer and climbing in is daily at my house. Not to mention what happens to it while im folding it and walk away for a second and come back to him standing on the dining room table throwing what i have folded on the floor!! Or theres the oh, i can reach that corner of that towel, lets drag that along with these shirts all over the house :) I wouldnt trade it for the world. And DH would never dare ask why it took so long. He would like to spare his life :)
lol my husband knows why it takes me all day to do dishes and laundry and dinner. He can't handle the kids for an hour while I go running at night let alone an entire day and try to keep the house clean at the same time. I'm a lucky momma to have a hubby who understands and appreciates what I do on a day to day basis.