The Most Outrageous Parenting Suggestions (Bones, Pee & Cigarettes Cure Things According to Some)

Christie Haskell

Teething remedy?
From the second you even discuss pregnancy, everyone and their mom decides you need to know everything they know, that very second -- whether you asked or not.

Some parenting advice is sound, and some is really unhelpful. Everyone has had someone tell them the old wives' tales like "Holding a baby spoils them" or "Babies need to cry to clear out their lungs."

But when I asked around for infant care advice people have been given, I was shocked at some of the unique and borderline-crazy things I heard.

ivansmom07 mentions hearing the idea of putting pee in a baby's eye to fix a clogged tear duct.

Mandie Martz Webb Forbes recalls her in-law's warning not to get off of Zoloft because there was the chance she'd murder her kids -- which apparently "happens a lot."

sherriet had to put a stop to her mother's solution to ease teething -- letting baby gnaw on a bone. Supposedly in addition to being the perfect texture, it's also nutritious. Say WHAT?!

RozyMama's own pediatrician swore that if you didn't start bottle-feeding a newborn "at least two ounces of water every day," they'd never drink it when they were older.

My own in-laws gave me this cure for colic: blow cigarette smoke over a spoonful of formula (only formula!) and feed it to the baby.

_Mommy2RandR_ was told to literally flip the baby around -- as in like a 360-degree tumble -- if they had their days and nights mixed up.

Some other hilarious and baffling advice:

  • Breastfeeding beyond a year stretches your nipples to the point where you will need plastic surgery to put them back.
  • Ceiling fans and wind blow air in the baby's face, which causes colic.
  • A baby that spits up breast milk doesn't like the flavor and needs formula.
  • Babies need hats and/or socks at all times, regardless of the weather.
  • If you're white, hire a black babysitter (or vice versa) or else your baby will grow up racist.
  • Tape a coin to the baby's belly button to prevent an outie/umbilical hernia.
  • A baby who hasn't been spanked is on his way to becoming a devil child.
  • Newborns need to cry to clear out their lungs or they will develop pneumonia.
  • Cats smell milk on the baby's breath and can suffocate them while trying to lick/suck it out of the baby's mouth while they're sleeping.
  • Breastfeeding past the first birthday creates kids who desire incestuous relations.
  • Sitting a newborn upright in your lap causes spine damage.
  • Keep a baby awake all day to get them to sleep through the night.
  • Don't teach sign language or the baby will never speak.
  • Dipping a pacifier in honey before giving it to a baby cures colic.
  • A spoonful of cough syrup every night helps babies sleep.

What's the craziest bit of baby advice you've ever heard?

Image via upturnedface/Flickr

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baby health, baby first year