The Most Outrageous Parenting Suggestions (Bones, Pee & Cigarettes Cure Things According to Some)

Christie Haskell
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Teething remedy?
From the second you even discuss pregnancy, everyone and their mom decides you need to know everything they know, that very second -- whether you asked or not.

Some parenting advice is sound, and some is really unhelpful. Everyone has had someone tell them the old wives' tales like "Holding a baby spoils them" or "Babies need to cry to clear out their lungs."

But when I asked around for infant care advice people have been given, I was shocked at some of the unique and borderline-crazy things I heard.

ivansmom07 mentions hearing the idea of putting pee in a baby's eye to fix a clogged tear duct.

Mandie Martz Webb Forbes recalls her in-law's warning not to get off of Zoloft because there was the chance she'd murder her kids -- which apparently "happens a lot."

sherriet had to put a stop to her mother's solution to ease teething -- letting baby gnaw on a bone. Supposedly in addition to being the perfect texture, it's also nutritious. Say WHAT?!

RozyMama's own pediatrician swore that if you didn't start bottle-feeding a newborn "at least two ounces of water every day," they'd never drink it when they were older.

My own in-laws gave me this cure for colic: blow cigarette smoke over a spoonful of formula (only formula!) and feed it to the baby.

_Mommy2RandR_ was told to literally flip the baby around -- as in like a 360-degree tumble -- if they had their days and nights mixed up.


Some other hilarious and baffling advice:

  • Breastfeeding beyond a year stretches your nipples to the point where you will need plastic surgery to put them back.
  • Ceiling fans and wind blow air in the baby's face, which causes colic.
  • A baby that spits up breast milk doesn't like the flavor and needs formula.
  • Babies need hats and/or socks at all times, regardless of the weather.
  • If you're white, hire a black babysitter (or vice versa) or else your baby will grow up racist.
  • Tape a coin to the baby's belly button to prevent an outie/umbilical hernia.
  • A baby who hasn't been spanked is on his way to becoming a devil child.
  • Newborns need to cry to clear out their lungs or they will develop pneumonia.
  • Cats smell milk on the baby's breath and can suffocate them while trying to lick/suck it out of the baby's mouth while they're sleeping.
  • Breastfeeding past the first birthday creates kids who desire incestuous relations.
  • Sitting a newborn upright in your lap causes spine damage.
  • Keep a baby awake all day to get them to sleep through the night.
  • Don't teach sign language or the baby will never speak.
  • Dipping a pacifier in honey before giving it to a baby cures colic.
  • A spoonful of cough syrup every night helps babies sleep.


What's the craziest bit of baby advice you've ever heard?


Image via upturnedface/Flickr

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