5 Reasons Men Hate Breastfeeding (And Of Course Sex Is Involved)


baby mannequin breastfeedingMen can be real jerk faces, can't they? And before you get all crazy on me, I mean some men. Some women, too. Heck, my son can sometimes be a jerk face but don't tell him I said that. Well, you can, but he's 8 months old and won't understand you anyway.

But some men hate on a woman for breastfeeding. It's true. If you disagree then realize that you are a lucky woman that you don't have those kinds of jerk faces in your life.

When I was in the Lactation Lounge at BlogHer, I was talking to the other women in the room about this very topic. It's something I have recently experienced myself -- a hater of my lactating mammaries. And no, it's not my husband -- he is the one who encourages me, especially in my early days of trying to nurse twins.

So after commiserating and thinking about the anti-breastfeeding crusade of the male variety, here are my thoughts on why (some) men hate when we breastfeed.

1. They feel our breasts belong to them, and are sexual only. They shouldn't be feeding a baby. We talk about our babies having nipple confusion, but it's these grown men who are truly nipple confused. Breasts are sexy, yes ... yes they are. But they also supply the most natural and best nourishment a baby can get. Can't they put their breast obsession aside until mom is done nursing? Why can't they take up a new fetish? Like, say, toe licking. Mama likes that.

2. They think that if we breastfeed, especially for longer than 6 weeks, we become too empowered -- too feminist-y -- and they hate us for it. These types of men have their own mama issues to work out. Maybe they even feel a woman's place is in the kitchen or they resent their wives for being successful working mothers. No matter the reason why, the bottom line is that they are insecure and have some issues. They need to work those out themselves or just go home to mama -- their own mama -- and nurse a stiff cocktail as their tears salt the glass.

3. They believe a nursing mom will never be sexual. Take the sex away and daddy is just unhappy. He's like a little boy whose toy was taken by his sister. A teeny baby sitting in a poopy diaper. Well actually, he's not. He may be whining like a child, but his reason isn't as legit. Yes, it's true that nursing produces hormones and a mother who breastfeeds may not be as ready to get it on as those newlywed days. But news flash! Welcome to life as a parent. Get used to not always being number one or getting it on in your bedroom like wildcats (because the co-sleeper is in the way). But instead of getting all pissy-pants, these guys should get creative, get the lube, and learn some new moves to seduce their wife.

4. They are jealous. Some guys may wish they have breasts (and not so they can feel themselves up all day) because they see the bonding that goes on when a mother nurses the baby and they wish they could have that. I can't hate on this reason as much as the others, but when the jealousy goes too far, then there is a problem. To help keep the jealousy in check, these men need to realize that even their skin-on-skin contact with baby can create strong bonds and also be great for newborns. Aww, see ... isn't that sweet?

5. They are ignorant. There are some men who just don't get it. Perhaps their reasoning for hating when a woman breastfeeds is because they weren't breastfed as a baby and they don't know anyone who was breastfed or breastfeeds, so it just isn't the norm for them and out of the norm is just too much for them to handle. In this case, they need to be educated ... which is sometimes easier said than done. There are some men who believe women shouldn't drive or vote or wear makeup or have short hair, too. So those types probably think a woman can't educate a man either. If it's that severe, and it's the baby's daddy, maybe the woman who had the baby with that kind of man should ask herself why she had a baby with him in the first place. But I'm sure she already is. If it's a stranger pissed off at a woman nursing in public, then he should just put a nursing cover over his own head.

Do you agree? Why do you think some men have issues with breastfeeding?


Image via chispita666/Flickr



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RanaA... RanaAurora

I think you summed it up.

Honestly I've had MANY more problems with women than men.

ethan... ethans_momma06

I agree. Luckily for me, most of the men I know support it or are smart enough to keep thier lips zipped.

PinkS... PinkSodaPop

Great summation.... and I agree with RanaAurora ---- I have had far more ignorant women displeased with my breastfeeding than men.

I think people who are offended at breastfeeing must conform to my likes, rather than I conform to their dislikes ---- I live my life to make ME happy, and if others can't appreciate that, then so be it.

I just offer naysayers the straight facts about the benefits of breastfeeding...and then encourage them to move on if they cannot accept the facts.


KatieP. KatieP.

some men might, luckily for me I have met anyone (man or woman) who has ever had a problem with me trying (I never got milk in so it was literally only trying)

One time at a car shop I went outside to BF since there was a man in there and I did not want to make him uncomfortable. It WAS hot outside. After about a couple of minutes he came out to say that he would be the one to wait outside so I could go back in where it was air conditioned.  I have only had experiance like that while trying to BF.

KatieP. KatieP.

that should read I have never met anyone.....

Phils... PhilsBabyMama

Yeesh.  Glad I don't have any men like that in my life.  My husband (who had never really been exposed to breastfeeding) is totally supportive as I continue to nurse my 2 1/2 year old toddler.  When I told him I wanted to breastfeed our child he said "Ok, it's your body."  He didn't know the benefits at the time and didn't really think it mattered, either way.  Now that he knows the benefits he's become even more supportive and is happy that our son was exclusively breastfed. 

Even my 17 year old brother is on board.  At first he was a little weird about being near me when I nursed my son. No teenage boy wants to see his sister's breasts.  I'd just let him know "I'm going to nurse Maddox" and he'd kind of look away.  Now it's to the point where I still let him know, but it doesn't make him uncomfortable.  He no longer makes a big show of turning his head in the other direction. lol.   It's just a part of life.  Women (even sisters) have breasts to feed babies.  :)

Annie Shultz

Yes, I have heard of men being like that. My husband is super supportive of me - even when I tandem nursed my 20 month old and newborn. But I'll tell ya what - when I weaned my 16 month old he was super duper excited and said "can I enjoy them like in the old days?"

I think it is totally fine for men to be jealous, as long as they still show their support and women are compassionate and promise them, "honey, this is for a short time and soon they will be fun to play with again!"

Great topic and you summed it up well!

tmalloy tmalloy

The only one I agree with is 4. Perhaps because my husband is so supportive of all the aspects of breastfeeding. I think you are generalizing. The wrong population of people. Those who are not subjected to breastfeeding ever.

Cafe... Cafe MicheleZ

I am generalizing in some ways, but like I said this is affecting me and if you haven't be subjected to the other types, then that's fantastic. But the reality is that there are some people who have big problems with women nursing. Heck, the majority of the population has a problem with nursing in public.

Thanks for the new word 'astupid' -- I think it's agood one.

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