A Second Baby Tips the Cart ... Mine at Least

Julie Ryan Evans
13

My BabiesI'm a Type-A control freak who likes my ducks in a row, everything in its place, and a go-to plan for every situation. Since my daughter was born 17 months ago, I can't even plan to get to the restroom most days; everything is all over the place; and those ducks, well, they're covered in a thick layer of dust and crumbs.

I love my Lila Claire to death, and seeing her and my almost-7-year-old son playing and laughing together is the most amazing, heartwarming thing I've ever experienced. But oh, the second baby has been hard. Really hard. Way harder than raising my son, way harder than anything I've ever done.

I thought we were to a point that Nolan was old enough that he would be a help, and he is. But still, there are TWO of them, and one of them always seems to need something -- day and night.

I don't know if it would be any easier if they were closer together in age. Part of me thinks it would be because then at least we wouldn't be starting ALL OVER again. We wouldn't have gotten to the "easy" part only to be slapped back into the reality of infant hood. Though the thought of tending to two or more babies at the same time, well ... where's that wine delivery service when you need it?

And I only have two; I know people with three, a couple with a fourth on the way, and my own aunt (God bless her crazy heart) had NINE! So I know I have it easy compared to most, but I also hear repeatedly that it's the second baby that's the hardest adjustment.

My mom was here this past weekend watching my children while my husband and I escaped on a much-needed little vacation. When I was telling her (who has raised four of her own) how difficult the past 17 months have been, she said, "It's always the second baby that tips the apple cart, then it's all the same from there. You might as well have five."

The thought of five children is enough to throw me off the deep end, and it's NOT going to happen (sorry, don't hold your breath, mom). But I hope it's true for those who do have those big beautiful families that I envy from afar ... very far away from my reality that I can handle.  

What has your experience been -- is the second baby the most difficult?


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