Breastfeeding, breast milk banks, your breast milk, my breast milk, formula . . . we really couldn't stop talking about the boobs and boob byproducts this week on The Stir. Oh, and Lady Gaga.
Read on for the best reader comments!
Michele shared a piece by Sara of Custom Made Milk on why she couldn't formula feed. Most people got the joke, and some felt even though it was funny, it also stoked the bf vs. ff wars unnecessarily. Our very own Jeanne Sager had one line out of many, that rang very true:
But I wish people would rail against the system instead of the other women.
I am so happy my grandfather built my crib!!!
I talked about the breast feeding advocates in the UK who want to stop saying "breast is best" and offered that more support would be a better way to promote breastfeeding than changing a slogan. SLK reinforced the idea of the importance of community support with this antidote:
My sister planned to breastfeed, but her husband thought it was a disgusting idea. His mom, who didn't BF, backed him up. She actually had to put her foot down with her own husband.
FFwd to the baby's 6 month b'day, and she's thinking about introducing formula part-time at least, because the pumping to keep up a supply (she's a working mom) is stressful and time-consuming. Now hubby has a friend who believes in BF, so now he's convinced that formula is the devil. "Breast is best" he reminds her.
Family and community support, as well as information, are indeed important. Even if it's only to convince the guys.
Yikes! Even I'm afraid of her. Put that thing down or you'll poke someone's eye out with it.
I have a baby through foster care right now. Obviously, breast feeding him is not an option. Yes, I know of milkbanks and ways to lactate but with all the paperwork and permissions needed in foster care, I'm pretty sure that would not be approved. Formula was our only option with him. I totally understand and get the strong benefits of breastfeeding but there is so little information out there for those who need to use formula. It was developed for a reason. Everywhere I turned to for information on the best formula for him made sure to remind me first that "breast feeding is best." I totally feel guilty and bad for him that he won't get the "best" even though he is growing and a totally healthy and happy kid. It is fine to promote breast feeding but a little help out there for those who rely on formula would be welcomed.
I asked if the division of parental labor was equal in your homes as a new study came out saying dads are as stressed out about work/home balance as moms have been previously. Kelli0585, a single mom, had an interesting perspective:
I'm a single mother, so I may not have a valid point.
But one thing that may contribute to the rising number of fathers claiming that they do more (and the fact that this article was even written), is because of the "Me" generation that are becoming parents.
Perhaps the workload has remained somewhat the same, but our culture is changing and with even the most "minor" of issues becoming an equal rights debate, this stuff has come to surface.
Perhaps taking the kids to the zoo never constituted as work. Dads have been taking their kids to the zoo for decades. But to the "Me" generation, it does count as work. Therefore, fathers claim that they do more "work" than before.
This week in new mom confessions, a mama felt she was a better mom after she stopped breastfeeding. A supportive group, wvamomma offered her own story of baby feeding stress in sympathy:
I did much better when I was breastfeeding than afterward for much the same reasons you had but in reverse- anxiety. I had trouble and got anxiety over what, how and when to feed my kid. I hate dealing with food at all and then I had to feed someone besides me too. Though we did learn.
I too have friends who did much better with formula than nursingalso.
I think being a mom often means doing what you know you and your kid need regardless of what a "expert" might think they know. (with in reason of course) There is a big difference between ideal and putting a kid at any sort of disadvantage.
Michele shared an offer of breast milk her mother's group received and talked about why she wouldn't be taking another mother's milk, and asked if you would. Rana Aurora had the practical answer to a somewhat complicated question:
From a milk bank, it's screened and pasteurized so I'd have no problem at ALL.
From a person, I'd need to know them and trust them.
Image via Valerie 7827