New Mom Secrets: I Don't Enjoy Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

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It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby), and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets -- we won't tell.

This Week's Secret:

"I'm a stay-at-home mom to a 6-month-old baby, and I don't enjoy it. My husband wants me to stay home, but I have no friends and no family nearby, and I'm just lonely all the time. I love my daughter, but I need time to myself and never get it. My husband works long hours and doesn't like to watch our daughter by himself, so I never leave the house alone. I don't enjoy my 'job' even though many women would trade places with me." --anonymous

 

 


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Do you enjoy being a stay-at-home mom?

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We all have secrets and opinions -- so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation nonjudgmental!

back-to-work, mom secrets, time for mom

14 Comments

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vanes... vanessa5470

It was the same for me. I am a military wife who lives far away from my family, but I have made friends. When my LO was born I spend the first six months with him and went back to my classroom (I teach) because I needed the mental stimulation. Don't get me wrong, I love my son like any other SAHM, but for both our sakes I needed to spend some time AWAY from the monotony that became chores, diapers, chores, chores, diapers, errands...

If mom's not happy, no one is happy.

So don't feel bad for wanting some me time. Talking to your partner is the best solution. Try a part-time if you want some time/income for yourself. Find a sitter, daycare that will suit your and your family. Your child will be fine ::scout's honor::.

RanaA... RanaAurora

I'm a military wife too. My friends live in the computer and the phone. My family is 1300 miles away. I totally get it.
However, I totally don't hate being a SAHM. I make sure I can enjoy going for a walk, going to the grocery store, calling my friends, and when my son was a little older, I'd leave him with my husband once a week whenever we could (Navy schedule, it could be 9am or 9pm) and I'd go sit and Starbucks and read a book, or window shop.
What you hate is the monotony - not being a SAHM. You can find ways to break up the monotony.

RanaA... RanaAurora

Oh, and your husband needs to grow the *&@& up. It's his child too.

empat... empatheticnana

When my two year old was reaching the depths of her two year old self, I would walk in the door at work and want to kiss the floor because i would now have some justifiable time away from her. You are not a bad mom because you aren't enjoying yourself. A lot of parenting is just plain labor-intensive and bloody hard work. Most military posts have family services where mother can get together and enjoy each other during play time or schedule time to have alone. My husband was a major in the military and although I was not a military wife (trust me, for me it would not have been a good thing), through representing military clients and my husband's knowledge, there are services available. If you husband makes to much noise, invite him to leave the military after this tour of duty and stay home with the baby. Bet he'll change his mind.
Best of luck. I believe the saying is- those who wait also serve.
God bless.

Pishyah Pishyah

Anonymous, you're not alone. There are TONS of SAHMs who hate it while loving it and being grateful for it at the same time. We're not all perfect and humans naturally feel that "the grass is greener on the other side." If you can find a way to get a sitter for your baby and get a part-time job, a volunteer job, SOMETHING to get out of the house once or twice a week then you'd probably feel MUCH better.

Pishyah Pishyah

Just because it was pointed out, not all services on base are available to everyone. For example, the CDC on base won't watch children who aren't fully vaccinated (including yearly flu shots) for ANY reason, including medical. So, while it is all well and fine to have those things available it isn't always accessible.

athenax3 athenax3

You aren't alone! I happen to work from home and do get out without the kiddos from time to time, but I think so many sahm's get the blues or find themselves feeling a bit stir crazy- only we aren't supposed to express it or admit it for fear of being judged by other mothers. It's a silly vicious cycle. And your dh needs to man up- you're entitled to some space and time to yourself, whatever it is that makes him incapable of parenting his own child needs to be addressed and gotten over. Good luck and blessings.

super... supermomto20506

My Lord,

You sound just like me except I am a SAHM to three kids..one whom is six months old as well. YOU ARE NOT ALONE:-)

abelmm2 abelmm2

I tried being a full time SAHM a few years ago. I didn't enjoy it. I felt like I was losing my identity. I started working part time outside the home at night and the weekends. This way I was home during the day but could get out of the house too for adult contact.

2snap... 2snappykids

I have "mostly" enjoyed being a SAHM- although it is no easy job- and not always fun either. My kids are 9 and 6. 9yr old is in 3rd grade and 6 yr old in half day Kindergarten (PM). I CAN HARDLY WAIT FOR 1st GRADE!!! That will mean that I have more time for myself and friends. But the way that i survived being a SAHM was working part-time at places like Mother's day out where I could take my kids with me. That way I got adult interaction and I didn't feel like I was 'leaving ' my kids. (but I still got a break from them because they were in different classes. ) Find something that will suite you and do it. Discuss this with your husband. Some mom's are at their best if they can work. (For me- I prefer to be home- Im just lookig forward to my kids being in school all day) ;)

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