New Mom Secrets: I'm Disappointed with the Sex of My Baby

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It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets—we won't tell.

This Week's Secret:

"I just had my third baby, and my third boy. He's healthy so I know I should be excited, but I really wanted a girl. I'm sure that feeling will go away soon, but right now I'm kind of disappointed. Especially when I'm surrounded by friends and family who have baby girls. Why them and not me?" --anonymous

 

 

 


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Were you disappointed when you found out you were having a boy or a girl?

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Total Votes: 115

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We all have secrets and opinions—so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation nonjudgmental!

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28 Comments

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ethan... ethans_momma06

It is totally normal to have gender dissapointment. Sometimes (especially if it is your last child) it isn't that you are dissapointed in THIS particular child- but its like you are mourning the loss of something that you will never have.

Iamgr... Iamgr8teful

Please don't take this as criticism, but from my point of view (someone who struggled with infertility since getting married 14 years ago), that's hard to hear. Praise the Lord! You have been blessed with three healthy babies! Have you ruled out having another child at some point? I know it's too soon right now to even think about that. My grandparents had four girls, then my grandfather got polio. When he recovered (with the use of his legs even!) they went on to have three boys. Congratulations on your newest child! Enjoy this time...and try to get some sleep (ha-ha!).

leberly leberly

I am pregnant with my third child. I am really hoping for a girl. If I have another boy thats ok too. As long as its healthy thats all that matters.

RanaA... RanaAurora

Go read this: http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1448958/Gender_disappointment ... It's OKAY to feel disappointed and don't let anyone convince you that you're selfish or ungrateful.

nonmember avatar mona

When I was pregnant, my husband insisted on not finding out the sex of the baby. But I was absolutely convinced I was having a boy, and I was secretly disappointed. I figured I had 9 months to try to get used to the idea of having a boy when I really wanted a girl. And then when my baby was born, I felt so happy it was a girl. I can really understand how some moms would feel disappointed at the sex of their baby. We are all only human after all!

SPOOK... SPOOKYANN

It's normal to feel that way I did at the time. But then I realized that I would get my girls when they were older by boys would bring them into the family and they would be special because my son's love them. We already have one and we totally enjoy her. The second one is here also just not offically yet.

momof... momof3boy41011

I feel like it is totally normal. It is not that I wanted anything to be wrong with him just because he was a boy. I really worried about him being healthy because all of my pregnancies were difficult. I knew that he would be my last baby and I did cry after especially walking through the stores seeing all the baby girl things. Now that I am done having kids and see how my niece is some days(not that my boys don't have there days) with her attitude I am thankful for my boys.

3wond... 3wonderfullboys

I have 3 boys and of course after having the first 2 I was hoping to have a girl but did not. I was NOT disappointed at all. In fact I was happy. I had all the stuff I needed for a boy. The Lord gave me what I could handle.

GabbyP. GabbyP.

It's completly normal! Actually I wanted 2 boys. My 1st was a boy my 2nd a girl. When the ultrasound tech said it's a girl I actually cried. Yeah I cried! But now my baby girl is 11m old and I couldn't be happier (most of the time lol). We are going to try for another boy if it ends up a girl I will prolly be disappointed again but once again it does not last long. :)

MsKel... MsKelly65

The first time, I really wanted a little girl. She would have been Louisa Adrienne. I got Joshua Lee.
The second time, I really wanted a little girl again. She would have been Melissa Ann. I got Daniel Jay.
The third time, I really wanted another little boy (the first two were such great kids). He would have been Robert Scott. I got Rachel Ann.

I was disappointed each time - for about as long as it took to put the baby in my arms, the first two times. It was harder to bond with my third child (daughter) because she was totally unexpected and, initially, unwanted. But she grew on me, as they do. She's 14 now, and I wouldn't trade her for a boy for nuthin'.

You'll get used to, and love that little darlin', pretty darn quick.

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