How can I tell my baby shower host what I want without sounding too demanding? Baby Shower Ideas

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baby shower game card
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Whether it's a family member or friend planning your baby shower, you might be compelled to share how you really feel about various party details. Here's what experts and other moms have to say about whether this can be done diplomatically -- and if so, how.

Make a Plan, Then Trust Your Host

"Find out the budget so that any recommendations you make fit within that number. Come up with a plan collectively with your shower hosts, and once it is done, back away and let them do the planning.   Don't make a lot of last-minute changes, ask to add things on, [or] look at Pinterest and drive your hosts crazy with daily 'ideas' and 'thoughts.' Trust that they will make this beautiful and lovely for you! So, let them handle it and don't get in their way. Sit back and enjoy this process."...

"Find out the budget so that any recommendations you make fit within that number. Come up with a plan collectively with your shower hosts, and once it is done, back away and let them do the planning.   Don't make a lot of last-minute changes, ask to add things on, [or] look at Pinterest and drive your hosts crazy with daily 'ideas' and 'thoughts.' Trust that they will make this beautiful and lovely for you! So, let them handle it and don't get in their way. Sit back and enjoy this process." -- Gina Wade, entertaining and lifestyle expert and special events planner, Gina Wade Creative, Los Angeles, California

Give a Brief List of Requests

"I had three requests: No games, a Jack & Jill shower (co-ed -- so my husband would be there too), and sandwiches from a local Italian deli. Aside from that, my mom and my mother-in-law could do anything they wanted -- and it was easy to design around that."

Plan Together

"I think typically the host and the mother-to-be are close enough that they can talk without issue. Sit down and plan together."

Don't Pipe Up Unless You're Asked

"Well, a baby shower is a gift to the expectant mother. Unfortunately, I think that means the expectant mother shouldn't politely relay her desires to the hostess unless she is asked. It really falls to the hostess, not the mom-to-be, to communicate clearly and consider the guest of honor's preferences."

Pick Your Battles

"You can ask for a couple things and it's alright. I demanded teriyaki chicken and chocolate-covered strawberries! My mother-in-law made the cake, and I asked for purple pansies on it, but I was just giving her a hard time. I was just happy there was a party, and it was wonderful. I was a little bummed that my mom dictated there will be no baby shower games, because she doesn't like them, but at least I got my chicken! Everyone was happy."

The advice on CafeMom aims to educate, inform, and provide a range of solutions to the issues moms care about. It is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.